A Thankful Thanksgiving

This year we spent Thanksgiving with Eric's family at the beach. They have a house at the Outer Banks (one of the main reasons I married him) and so we get to go a few times a year. I never get over how beautiful it is there. It's so nice to have a getaway every once in a while, and to be able to spend time with family at the same time is just the best. It was easy to think about how thankful I am for my life, my family, and too many blessings to count.


Here's the chocolate cheesecake I made just before it went in the oven. I wanted to take a picture of it after taking it out of the pan on Thanksgiving, but it got eaten too quickly!



Playing basketball in the driveway with Daddy.


Busy digging a hole. It was in the 70s on Thanksgiving day and we had a great time on the beach. (Those three crazy people you see in the water back there are Patrick, Greg, and their friend Joey. The water was probably about 50˚.)


Sawyer and I walked down to the water's edge and he was so excited to see the waves come up. He kept saying "Comes! Comes!" Here it comes...


...and then the water arrived. Whoa! It was cold!


Sawyer: "This is not nearly as much fun as I thought it would be."


Playing catch with Grandpa and Uncle Greg. Sawyer calls Grandpa "Pa Pa", an endearment that lately has inexplicably morphed into "Poo Poo". You can imagine the fun we had with that.

Lack of Coverage

And no, I'm not talking about my new bikini. (Those of you who know what my body looks like these days probably just threw up a little bit.)

Our insurance company officially will not cover any part of our embryo transfer. I was right that we have coverage for infertility. I was wrong in assuming that included embryo transfers (or anything related to IVF in any way - it's in the fine print section of the exclusions.) So Eric is looking for a new job. I know that sounds extreme, but he's been thinking about it for a long time anyway.

On a related topic, we recently rented Sicko, the latest Michale Moore film. Talk about eye opening. I don't agree with Moore's politics, but you can't argue with his basic premise that the health care system in the US has some serious issues. I loved the segment about France - when he'd ask people how they were going to pay for their medical bills, they'd first say "What?" with a blank look, and then they'd think he was joking. Even IVF is fully covered for everyone. Can you imagine? Maybe we'll have to move there. Vive la France!

Sawyerisms II

At two and a half, Sawyer is learning new words every day, and like most toddlers he has his own version of a lot of them. Here are some of my favorites.

Ug-a-boo (Peek-a-boo)
Teek oo (Thank you)
Peace (Please, usually along with the sign. Today he came up to me and said "Mama, I nice. Snacks peace?" Usually I have to prompt him with "How do you ask nicely?" but this time he decided to be nice on his own!)
Jawwas (Cheerios. It took me two very puzzling days to figure this one out.)
Kee you? (Carry you. He actually means "Carry me")
Fuddants (Elephants)
Doh-a (Dora the Explorer)
Gweek (Drink)
Chunkle Chunkle (Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, his current favorite song.)
Gott (I am a Child of God, his second favorite.)
TRRRRUCK! (Truck; always with the same tone and bursting with enthusiasm. He is his father's son.)

This is how he counts to ten:
One, two, wee, four, sick, semmen, eight, nine, ten! He almost always skips five, and sometimes decides to end with a jubilant nine instead of ten.

Trip to the Garden State

This past weekend I took a trip to visit Andrea! It was my first time seeing their place in New Jersey. I had a great time letting her show me around - she gave quite the sales pitch. We now have to add LaFayette, New Jersey to our list of places we could move.

Buttermilk Falls. We hiked up to the top and I had a minor panic attack on the way down. It's difficult to tell the scale from this picture, but it's really tall.


Fall hasn't come to Virginia yet the way it has there. The leaves were gorgeous.


New Jersey is replete with rocks and streams.


Can you see the bear? It ran across the road right in front of us and by the time I got my camera ready it was pretty far away. I am ready to buy a telephoto lens - this one would have been so cool.


Andrea likes moss.


A cool tree growing on the side of a hill.

This Sucks

I got a call from the insurance secretary in our RE's office yesterday. Apparently our insurance company is saying we have no infertility coverage. Which is very strange, because the policy booklet that I'm looking at right now says we're covered at 50% for all infertility diagnostics and procedures (including IVF related ones). Eric's going to talk to his office's HR guy today and see what the issue is. If we find out that the company opted us out of the coverage I will be all kinds of pissed. We chose this company based (among other things) on their insurance coverage for infertility!

We're really back in the game now, it's just one thing after another. If we have to self pay, we can (although not right away, we don't have enough saved up). It just makes me mad that something this basic and common wouldn't be covered. I mean for heaven's sake, getting pregnant is supposed to be free - and for some people, it's even fun!

Happy Halloween

Sawyer was an elephant for Halloween this year. Elephants ("fuddants") are his favorite animal right now. He loves to pretend his arm is a trunk and raise it in the air and make a trumpeting noise.




At first he didn't want to put the costume on, but when I showed him how he looked in the mirror he didn't want to take it off. He had a great time wearing it at our ward's Trunk or Treat activity; so much so that I had a hard time getting a picture that wasn't blurry because he wouldn't sit still for a second.




I think next year he might be old enough to pick out his own costume. If he'd been able to choose one this year, I'm fairly certain he would have picked Dora the Explorer, who is his favorite person in the entire world - he loves her only slightly less than mom and dad. Too bad the church frowns on cross dressing.



Happy Halloween!

Back in the Stirrups

Well, it's official - after three years of frolicking around happily in the land of the Fertile, we are patients of a reproductive endocrinologist once more. We had an appointment with our RE yesterday to discuss our options for Baby #2 (as he or she will known on the records of the Church - just kidding.) We are very (VERY) lucky to have three embryos which were frozen after the IVF that got us Sawyer. That means we don't have to go through the whole (horrible, expensive, painful, and did I mention horrible?) process of a full IVF again, we just have to transfer the embryos into me and hope they take. Our RE gives us about a 30% chance that it will work. With a fresh cycle it's about 40-50% - the thawing process can damage the embryos, so a frozen cycle is always riskier than fresh. As with last time, our chances are better than most people's because we are young and because our diagnosis is male factor (as far as we know, all my stuff is working.)

Here's the protocol, for those who are interested in the gory technical details.*

Beginning with my next cycle:

Diagnostic Tests

Day 3 - Sonohysterogram. This is where they fill your uterus with saline and do an ultrasound (the "fun" kind.) This allows the doctor to do some measurements and check the general shape of things.
I'll also have some blood work done to check my hormone levels.

A few days later - Hysteroscopy. Another diagnostic test where they feed a thin telescopic camera through the cervix to have a look around. Here they're looking for fibroids and polyps and anything that's not supposed to be in there. As you can imagine, this one isn't very pleasant to go through, but thankfully it's pretty quick, and it's actually kind of cool to be able to see inside your own uterus up on the screen during the procedure. While they're in there they'll do a trial transfer - measuring to find the best place to deposit the embryos on the big day.

The best part of my diagnostic protocol is ... NO HSG! And no laparoscopy! Those were the most painful procedures for me last time (apart from the ovary stimulation and egg retrieval) so I am thrilled not to have to go through those again this time.


Medications

The normal protocol is to go on birth control pills for the first 14 days, but since I have the Factor V Leiden gene, our Dr. wants to avoid this. What I'll do instead is use another form of birth control (oh, the irony) and use ovulation predictor kits. When I get a positive (meaning I'm about to ovulate) I'll call the office so they can schedule me for the next step - medications.

I'll have some more blood tests, then I'll start taking:

Lupron (20 units) - subcutaneous injections, once a day. This suppresses the ovaries.

Estrace - Estrogen, taken vaginally or orally (woohoo, no needles!)

Progesterone - the Big Ones. Eric will once again have the joyful experience of stabbing a 1.5" needle into my hiney. The RE did say that if the injections are painful for me I could switch to vaginal capsules instead, for which I will forever bless his name.

Somewhere around 6 weeks after my cycle begins (end of December or start of January), we'll do the actual transfer. We're transferring all three embryos (two blastocysts and one morula). This sounds scary, but with a frozen cycle the chances of ending up with triplets are almost zero. And they're only slightly higher for twins. So we're hoping and praying for one healthy, adorable baby.



*If you're wondering what Eric has to do for this cycle, here it is: he has to get bloodwork done to screen for infectious diseases. Which he did yesterday. So yeah, he better be nice to me for a long, long time.

Star Wars Fans, Hide Your Eyes (and Ears)

Oh, the horror.

My Husband

Tiburon did a great post about her husband, and since we just had the gospel doctrine lesson on marriage today, I thought it would be fun to do one too. I'm so blessed to have a truly fabulous husband. And since he doesn't read my blog, I'm not just saying that to kiss up!

What is his name? Robert Eric Watts - he goes by Eric.

How long have you been married? 5 years last May. I can't believe it's already been that long!

How long did you date? This is unclear. We met when we were 15 and dated some in high school. We stayed friends as we went to college, went on missions, and started dating again in 2001. We got engaged after dating for 2 months, and got married 5 months later.

How old is he? 29. He's 6 weeks younger than me, and loves to remind me.

Who eats more? He eats MUCH more than I do. He's a big guy, and I still don't know where he puts it all.

Who said I love you first? He did - when we were 17.

Who is taller? He is. It's not even close. He's 6'4" and I'm 5'5".

Who sings better? I do - but I think he has a really nice voice. He just lacks confidence.

Who is smarter? I think we're pretty equally yoked in the brain department, but we're each smart about different things. He has an engineer's brain and I have a poet's brain. I like to think we strike a good balance.

Whose temper is worse? His. I stay pretty calm and collected most of the time. He flies off the handle at the slightest provocation while he's driving. He is very patient with me though, thankfully.

Who does the laundry? I do, in theory. What usually ends up happening is that he does a whole bunch when he runs out of underwear because I've let it pile up too high.

Who does the dishes? I do, except on rare occasions when he's feeling particularly charitable. I don't mind doing them and he hates it more than anything.

Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? He does.

Who pays the bills? I do. I like doing the bills and it's one less thing for him to worry about, so it works out well.

Who mows the lawn? Our neighborhood landscaping crew does. When we had to do our own lawn Eric mowed and I did the rest of the gardening. We both like working in the yard.

Who cooks dinner? I do most of the time. I love when Eric cooks though, he is great at it.

Who drives when you are together? This is a sore point - he hates to let me drive. He feels like people who see me driving him around will think he is less than a man.

Who is more stubborn? We challenge each other on this one every time we have a fight. I think I usually win (a very questionable victory).

Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? It varies...Eric probably does more frequently though.

Whose parents do you see the most? Mine - which is funny because his live much closer to us. But my dad works in DC so we see him at least a few times a month.

Who proposed? He did, in a hot tub on New Year's Eve. We were both shocked.

Who is more sensitive? Definitely me. I'm working on that.

Who has more friends? I do. I really need friends and social interaction and he just doesn't have the same drive.

Who has more siblings? He's one of 7 kids (blended family) and I'm one of 6.

Who wears the pants in the family? We each take the lead in different areas - I like to think we're pretty evenly matched and we make a great team. And we have fun no matter what we're doing. I'm so glad he's the one I get to share my life with.

Another Update

It looks like the deal is off. The sellers aren't willing to go as low as we want. We actually feel really good about this, surprisingly. Both of us have had impressions this weekend that it's not the right time for us to buy a house. I don't know why, but when we both have those types of feelings independent of each other, I tend to trust them. So we are backing out. I feel really bad for the sellers (they've already had two deals fall through previous to this one) and even more, for my sister, who has put a lot of work into making this happen. But I guess that's the name of the game. We're staying put for now!

Update

Well, it turns out that the owners of the house we love still really want to sell and are apparently willing to sell for the price we wanted. We're making a written offer tonight and if all goes well we'll be closing at the end of the month. Wish us luck!

Real estate craziness

Yesterday we spent the day with my sister looking at properties in western Loudoun. It was a beautiful day and we had a great time looking at houses and letting Sawyer and Caroline play in the country. (Caroline's favorite way to address Sawyer: "Yer-Yer! Stop!") We saw some great places, but nothing we fell in love with. There was one house that was in the perfect location, but a schizophrenic floorplan that wouldn't work for us. And another had a perfect house, but a terrible location, right on the road. The house that originally started us looking is still listed for sale, but we drove by it and the owners were actually there, moving their stuff back in (and they gave us the evil eye when we slowed down to look). Their agent says they might still be willing to sell, but at a much higher price than before since they no longer feel desperate. We're not willing to go that high. So it looks like it's still a no. For now.

Well, that was easy

Never mind, we're not buying that house. We had just gotten preapproval on the loan when we learned that the sellers decided to pull the house off the market and move back in. They had already moved (guess where? That's right - Raleigh) and apparently things didn't work out so they are coming back. And obviously they don't want us buying their house because they need to live in it. Makes our decision a lot easier!

We're still open to buying in the near future though. My sister is taking us out tomorrow to look at more homes in that area. Who knows, we might find a house we like even more. Or we could wait a few more months, which would be fine with me. Or we could still end up moving to NC. Back to the drawing board.

To move or not to move

For a while now we've been contemplating a move. We love the DC area, but it has become too crowded for our taste. Our beloved Loudoun County is becoming so developed now that is bears almost no resemblance to the semi-rural oasis we grew up in. Not to mention that homes are so expensive here. So we've been planning to eventually move to the Raleigh area in North Carolina. Eric's family lives there now, and we love it whenever we go to visit. It is a smaller city with lots of IT work and some great neighborhoods, and most of all, incredibly low real estate prices. The downside would be leaving DC, and leaving behind my sister and her family, and my dad, since he lives here about half of the year.

My sister happens to be a realtor, and in what I'm sure was not a completely altruistic move, she sent me a listing for a gorgeous house in the next county over that had just been dramatically reduced in price. It's a 4 bedroom/3 bath cape cod on two acres in a beautiful rural setting. She took me out to see it on Tuesday and I loved it. Eric hasn't seen it yet but we're going out there again on Saturday. If he likes it we might make an offer.

This would be a complete departure from our plans of moving to NC, and we'd have to rethink a lot of things. I'm pretty stressed out about it - I do not do well with big decisions and big changes. But I feel like this would be a really good move for our family. Eric would have a longer commute (right now he's 10 minutes from the office) and I'd have a longer drive to Target (which would probably save us a lot of money). We'd be farther from church too. But we'd also have a big yard for Sawyer (and any future kids) to run around and play, and quiet evenings without having to smell the neighbors' cigarette smoke or hear their parties. I would have enough space to have as many gardens as I want, and my own soap room. The thought of having a mortgage is scary (we've always rented), but I know we have to take the plunge eventually and this might be a great time to do so. We'll see what happens.

The things I'd never say

Michelle did a post about the things you've never said but would like to given the chance. Very thought-provoking. I'm fairly introverted and I tend to let a lot of things go unsaid, but in thinking about this post I realized that when it comes to the really important things, I do say them wherever it's possible. So most of mine are to people I'm not in contact with anymore. The following are things that I either haven't had the opportunity to say, or that I never would even if I could. Each one is to someone different. Feel free to guess. :)

1) Remember that time at Andrea's when we all fell asleep on the floor in front of the fire, and you ran your fingers through my hair and stroked my face? I was awake.

2) The letter you wrote me after my mission saved me in more ways than one. Thank you.

3) I still can't believe you started out our second date by asking me if I was wearing garments.

4) You are the main reason I believe in fate. I used to think (and hope) things would turn out differently, but I'm glad they went the way they did, and I'm glad you've been a part of the picture.

5) I don't think you ever could have imagined how much I would miss you. And I always will.

6) I don't understand how you can be so incredibly mean to people you're supposed to love. I just don't get it. I hope one day I can understand where it comes from and why you think it's OK to be so hurtful.

7) When we broke up I was completely devastated. I acted like I didn't care, but I had too much pride to show how I really felt. I think you knew this...but I'll never be sure.

8) You were the best first kiss I have ever had. You brought out a gutsy-ness in me that no one else has.

9) Thank you for not taking advantage of a silly 18 year old girl when I gave you every opportunity to do so.

10) It really hurt my feelings when you talked about me behind my back. It screwed things up for me really badly, which I know you didn't intend, but still. Very uncool.

11) I feel bad for ignoring you that time you came to visit me because I was drooling all over a boy. That was really crappy of me.

12) Telling a first date that the temple makes you feel "all tingly" is really, really creepy. I wouldn't recommend it in the future.

13) I'm sorry for breaking up with you the way I did. I was young and stupid and didn't know what I was doing. It still bothers me that I hurt you by not being honest and clear about my feelings.

14) You are one of the most insightful, self-aware women I've ever known. I look up to you in so many ways.

15) Every time I hear a Grateful Dead song or drive through an ice storm it reminds me of you. You were there for me at such an important juncture in my life and you'll never know how much you helped me just by being there to talk to and play guitar with.

D'aim, these are good!

I was at Ikea last week buying some soap dishes to sell along with my soap at the fair, and as I headed for the check-out line something bright red caught my eye. Could it be...it was...a big bag of D'aim candies! I first discovered these little treats on my mission in France. Once in a while we'd stop in at McDonald's, and my companion and I got endless amusement out of ordering "D'aim McFlurries". They are similar to a Heath bar - chocolate-covered toffee. But this is European chocolate and hence bears no similarities at all to its waxy American cousin. YUM! So of course, I bought the bag. It's huge and will last me a long time. And then I'll need to make another trip to Ikea. I might need a cheap dresser by then anyway.

Playdate with Cah-ine

Last week we had a fun playdate with cousin Caroline (or as Sawyer pronounces it "Cah-ine"). They spend a lot of time fighting over toys that neither one cares about when the other is n't around, but they have fun together nonetheless. This time, Sawyer decided to push Caroline around in his umbrella stroller. Caroline always enjoys it when Sawyer ("Yer-Yer") does her bidding.

Crafty People Gathering

Saturday's craft fair went fabulously. It was a long day: 8:30 to 5:30, and Sawyer was with us the whole time. He did great, and even took a nap in his stroller when he got tired (he's never done that before - he's an in-his-bed or carseat sleeper). There was a good turnout for the fair, although a lot of attendees seemed to be there just to look around, not to spend money. I gave out lots of business cards and was approached by a few organizers of other fairs asking me to participate, so that could lead to more sales in the future. Since I'm working on getting my business name out there, that would have made the event a success even if I hadn't sold anything. I did though - I made about 11 times my booth fee. So I'm glad I did it, despite all the stress and late nights of preparation. Thanks so much to all of you who came by to support us!

The fair took place around the historic Lanesville house. It was a really beautiful setting, with trees on one side, a pond on the other, and the house right in the middle. They had live music on the lawn and crafts for kids.


My booth.


Soap display.


Solid lotion, lip balms, and soy candles.


Pillow sprays and herbal balm.


Sawyer, my sunny boy.


A groundhog that lived in the tree behind our booth.

We love New York!

And we can say that for real now since we've been there! A few weeks ago Eric had a work assignment that required him to stay overnight in Manhattan. His company likes him so much that they paid for Sawyer and me to go too. We were there for less than 24 hours, so we didn't get even close to doing everything we wanted to (like visiting Andrea and Jeremy - we'll get you next time!) But we saw some sites, ate some terrific food, and stayed in a swanky hotel, so it was a great trip. Next time we'll go sans Sawyer! Here are some pictures. New York Trip

I'm It

Christie tagged me w/the Middle Name Game!

My middle name is Anne.

A - Anxiety prone. I worry about things too much, especially when it comes to decision making.
N - Nice. Sometimes too nice. But I believe in good old-fashioned courtesy.
N - Nymphomaniac (my husband wishes!)
E - Evolving. I try to continually improve my life and take on new challenges.

If you feel inclined to play, consider yourself tagged!

Where'd the kitchen go?

On the 15th (a week from this Saturday!) I'm selling at my first ever craft fair. The preparations have all but taken over our home, especially the kitchen. Thank goodness for an understanding husband and a child who is perfectly content to watch Dora the Explorer reruns all day.

Beveling and polishing station, plus some candles. The counter in the background has clothespin sachets, herbal balms and body sprays.


Kitchen table with soaps waiting to be beveled and/or wrapped and labeled.


Stove area set up for making candles.


And a finished product - Blackberry Sage soap.

Guess who picked out his own clothes today

Sawyer came to me this morning in just his diaper, pants in one hand and shirt in the other. "Pants? Shirt? Pants? Shirt?" I guess it felt like a colorful, stripey day. It takes a very creative mind to pair a button-down baby Gap shirt with pajama pants!



He's been carrying his stuffed monkey around with him - very uncharacteristically too, since he's never attached himself to a security blanket, binkie or bottle. But he seems to have adopted the monkey and has been talking to it, hugging it and giving it kisses all day. While he was watching Dora I saw him holding it up to his shoulder and patting its back like he was burping a baby. He'll make a great daddy someday...especially if he marries a monkey!

"Foux de Fa Fa"

If you haven't seen Flight of the Conchords yet, you really should. It is by far the best comedy on TV right now (at least, until The Office starts back up again in September - then I'll have a tough time deciding). If you don't have HBO, check it out on YouTube - although you'll have to hurry, because a lot of them are getting yanked for copyright infringement. Here's a thought-provoking song - "Issues: Think About It" which poses the very valid question, "Why we still payin' so much for sneakers when you got them made by little slave kids?"


Here's another of them performing on Letterman a couple of months ago. "You're definitely in the top three good looking girls on the street - depending on the street."


And one more - a French fantasy. Anyone who's taken French 1 will understand the whole thing.

C'est délicieux

It was a gorgeous cool, rainy day today. Such a refreshing break from all the humid heat we get here in August. I made my favorite soup for dinner and thought I'd share the recipe. It's one my mom used to make a lot and I tweaked it when I lived in Frace based on recipes I learned there. To me it is France in a bowl!

Chicken Mushroom Soup

1/4 c yellow onions, sliced
3 T butter
1 lb sliced mushrooms (I use half white button, half baby portabello)
1/3 c flour
4 c chicken stock
1 1/2 c half-and-half
1/2 c dry white wine
4 bone-in, skin on chicken breasts
3 T olive oil
1/4 t tarragon
1/4 t herbes de provence
ground red pepper flakes
salt
pepper

To roast chicken:
Preheat oven to 350˚ F. Put chicken on baking sheet, skin side up. Rub olive oil into skin, and sprinkle liberally with salt and pepper. Roast for 40 minutes until cooked through. When chicken is cool enough to handle, remove skin and slice chicken into bite-sized pieces.

For soup:
Sauté onions in 3 T butter in a heavy bottomed soup pot until translucent. Add mushrooms and flour; cook for 1 minute while stirring. Add chicken stock and wine. Bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer. Add chicken and spices. Simmer uncovered for 20 minutes. Just before serving add half-and-half. Serve with a crusty baguette.

MacBook Lament

In order to celebrate getting his CCIE (and to ease his own conscience about buying an Xbox Elite for himself) Eric bought me a MacBook. That was about a month ago, and in the last few weeks I've been thinking about doing an "Ode to my MacBook" post. Just when I was about to start writing it though, my MacBook let me down and crashed. So my ode has become a lament.

I was just about to go to bed last Thursday night and decided to double-check a soap recipe for the morning when my browser window froze. I tried to force quit - nothing. Finally I had no choice but to manually shut down my Mac and restart. There was an ominous clicking sound and when I turned it back on, all I got was a gray screen. No Apple logo, no startup page - just dreary, gray nothingness. I tried booting from the installation disk (which was still in my kitchen, since I just used it a few weeks ago) and even that didn't work. I knew this could not be good news.

In the morning I called tech support and after half an hour on the phone we had figured out that it was a big enough problem that it would require a genius to solve it. Good thing Apple has Geniuses in their stores! Shew! I made an appointment and on Saturday Eric and I showed up at the Genius Bar (complete with bar stools) in the Apple Store near us. Our Genius was wearing a red bandana, had three earrings and a pointy goatee. He figured out quickly that something had gone seriously wrong, and my hard drive wouldn't mount. My month old hard drive. There was nothing to be done but replace it completely, so I lost everything that was on it - which actually wasn't that much, since it was so new. All the pictures I had on it were backed up on Shutterfly, so I only ended up losing a couple of songs and the third season of The Office, which I had downloaded on iTunes and is on my iPod. If I'm careful not to automatically sync everything, I won't lose that. And if I do lose it, I'll have an excuse to buy the DVDs and get all the bonus features. So my old hard drive is gone, and the Genius installed a new one right there.

So I have learned to always back up - even if you're using a Mac, which you bought because they are supposed to be secure and safe and not prone to freak hard drive failures. I still love my MacBook, but it's going to take a while for me to trust it again - that has to be earned!

What Book Are You?

A great quiz from bluepyramid.org - this one answers the question "What book are you?"

You're Ulysses!

by James Joyce

Most people are convinced that you don't make any sense, but compared to what else you could say, what you're saying now makes tons of sense. What people do understand about you is your vulgarity, which has convinced people that you are at once brilliant and repugnant. Meanwhile you are content to wander around aimlessly, taking in the sights and sounds of the city. What you see is vast, almost limitless, and brings you additional fame. When no one is looking, you dream of being a Greek folk hero.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

I got tagged

Becky tagged me, so I guess that means I'm IT!

Jobs I've had:
-stable hand (I took care of horses, although my hands are pretty stable too)
-music store employee
-book store employee
-secretary
-teaching assistant
-substitute teacher
-CEO (of my household)

Movies I never get sick of:
-Sense and Sensibility
-Meet the Parents
-Dumb and Dumber
I guess comedies are the ones that I tend to view repeatedly.

Places I've called home:
-Provo, UT (three different times)
-Baltimore, MD
-Charlottesville, VA
-Cleveland, OH
-Charlotte, NC
-Tours, Angers, and Bordeaux France
-northern VA (where I've spent most of my life)

Favorite TV shows:
-24
-Lost
-The Office

Favorite Vacation Spots:
-Outer Banks, NC
-anywhere exciting I haven't been yet

Favorite Websites:
-eBay, Venus Sisterhood, soapdishforum.com, blogs

Places I'd rather be:
-anywhere I don't have to cook or clean



Now I'm tagging....

-Michelle
-Sara
-Jeremy
-Tiburon
-Christie
You're it!

Not the Biggest Loser (But a Loser Nonetheless)

I just realized I never posted the results to the Biggest Loser competition I took part in. That's probably because I didn't win. I came in 6th out of 14, so not too bad. I lost 14 lbs in 13 weeks. Altogether, the whole group lost 150 lbs - a whole person! The Biggest Loser was Tiburon (who has a kickin' blog, by the way.)

So now we are three weeks into Biggest Loser 2 (tagline: "This time, they'll end up even LESS flabby!") The first week I was at the beach, so I did not get off to a great start. Between Uncle Billy's fried shrimp, Aunt Carrie's chocolate chip cookie pie, and the fact that the freezer was always stocked with at least a dozen different types of Klondike bars (that's not an exaggeration!) I pretty much threw all my restrictions out the window. So now I'm trying to make up for it and not doing too well. I really want to lose 15 more pounds - if I do that I'll be at the weight I was when I got married, which is just about right for me. Not too skinny, but definitely skinnier than I am now.

Deathly Hallows and Middlesex

WARNING: HARRY POTTER SPOILERS! Don't read this one if you haven't finished the last book yet.

I finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows about 4 days into our beach week. I probably would have finished in a day if I had been able to read straight through, but being in a house with 20 of my relatives, some of whom I hadn't seen for two years, made it difficult to find good reading time. The first 200 pages or so I read out loud to Eric and Sawyer on the drive down, which was fun and distracted us from the fact that our normally 5 hour drive took us 11 hours (more on this in my previous post).

I think Deathly Hallows is my favorite of the whole series. I was prepared to be let down after so much build-up, but Rowling really outdid herself and wrote a near perfect conclusion. I'm glad I was wrong about my Dumbledore theory, because the way she had him come back in Harry's vision right at the climax was spectacular. I also loved the way we got to see Snape's whole story - and I'm glad I was right about Snape! He is probably the most interesting character in the books, and as it turns out he was one of the biggest heroes too. The conclusive tone of the Epilogue was so satisfying. Harry has a normal life, a loving family, and cool kids with friends. So happy.

So once I was done with Harry Potter (and so sad that I'm done forever!) I moved on to Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides. It's a first person narrative about a man who was raised as a girl. He was born with XY chromosomes, but with a genetic error that caused his external organs to develop in a way that they appeared female. This is more common than most people think - estimates are that 1 in 2000 babies are born with "ambiguous genitalia". When this happens a decision has to be made about how to raise the child. In the (fictional) case of the book, they don't discover the abnormality until he's 15 and has already been raised as a girl. It's a fascinating study of gender identity and the struggle between genetics and society, nature and nurture. I highly recommend it. And I'd love comments and ideas from anyone who's read it. Eric will not discuss this one with me because he finds the whole idea too disturbing. At least we have Harry Potter.

Back from the Beach

We're back from our yearly beach week with the Stells. It was wonderful to see everyone, especially after missing last year. The week got off to a really bad start with the drive down. We caravaned in three cars - Eric, Sawyer and I in one, Megan, Ryan and Caroline in the second, and Grandy, Erin and Rob in the third. We met at Megan and Ryan's house and set out around 10:00 Saturday morning, planning to stop for lunch around Williamsburg and arrive at the beach around 4:00; the rental office opened at 3:00 and the drive normally takes us 5 hours plus stopping time. Good plan, right? Well, it was not to be. Traffic on I95 was horrendous. After 2 hours, we were only as far as Stafford. And that was as far as we would go for a while, because at that point Erin noticed smoke pouring out from under Grandy's car. So we all waited for the tow truck, and then followed it to a repair shop where we waited until we could get a rental. Rob had been driving Grandy's car and was pretty shaken up by what had happened, mostly because the day before he had been in a car accident and he was worried that he was cursed in some way.

By the time we were ready to go again it was lunch time, so we found a place to eat and then set off again into the still terrible traffic. We didn't reach the bridge onto Southern Shores until 8:00. At that point we had all given up trying to caravan and had been separated for quite a while. Eric and I stopped in at Walmart to get another copy of Harry Potter so he could continue reading on his own (I had been reading aloud to him for the whole drive). When we got back in the car we got a call from Erin saying that they had been in a car accident in the rental car. Someone had rear-ended them in the stop-and-go traffic of the island road. Luckily no one was hurt and damage to the car was minimal, but Robbie was even more freaked out. What are the chances of that many car troubles happening to one person in one weekend?

Thankfully, the rest of the trip went uneventfully and we arrived in Corolla around 9:00, safe but thoroughly tired of being in the car.

After that bad start, our week could only get better, and it did. Nothing else bad happened to Robbie - unless you count the time he was in the pool and stuck his hand into the filter and pulled out a huge dead bird. We spent lots of time sitting on the beach and getting sunburned (I'm already peeling!), eating great food (Uncle Billy made his famous fried shrimp twice, and Aunt Carrie made a chocolate chip cookie pie that was to die for - YUM), and watching The Office in the evenings. I had brought the DVDs just in case we had a rainy day, and everyone liked it so much that we watched all three seasons. We were all quoting Michael and Dwight the whole week.

Now we're home and trying to get back into the groove of everyday life, cleaning and cooking and laundry. I wish I was still sitting on the beach.

Here are some pictures of our week: Beach Photos I can't wait for next year!

Harry Potter

In anticipation of the final book in the Harry Potter series coming out tomorrow night, I’ve been doing a lot of theorizing. Eric and I have debates about it almost every night. (I never claimed we weren’t huge nerds.) I’ve re-read all the previous books over the past 3 weeks or so. And I have no idea how I’m going to find time to eat and sleep once I have The Deathly Hallows in my hot, nerdy little hands.

We also went to see The Order of the Phoenix last week. I loved it; I think it’s the best of the movies so far. The actors have gotten better and better as they’ve grown up - Daniel Radcliffe started out as a cute kid who looked like Harry Potter and had passable acting skills; who knew he would become such a terrific, likeable actor? The climax of Phoenix (and all of its emotional suspense) hinges on the audience believing and caring about Harry’s inner struggle, and Radcliffe rose to the occasion brilliantly.

So here are my theories for the final book (which I will read sitting on the beach!) Here are the big ones: (Spoiler alert if you haven’t read books 1-6 yet!)

-Dumbledore isn’t really dead. Or at least, he’s not permanently dead. His chosen pet is a phoenix, which regularly dies in a flash of flame and then is reborn. At Dumbledore’s funeral, his body spontaneously goes up into flames and when the flames go away, the coffin is sealed up. My guess is, he’s not in there anymore. We saw Dumbledore disappear in Order of the Phoenix when Umbridge is trying to have him sent to Azkaban – he grabs Fawkes’ tail and vanishes in flames. So it’s possible he pulled off a similar disappearance this time.

- Dumbledore knew that Malfoy was trying to kill him and that eventually it would come to a confrontation, either with him or other Death Eaters. So Dumbledore planned to appear to die so that Voldemort could be totally sure that Dumbledore was dead and gone. I don’t know how Dumbledore survived the Avada Kedavra curse or the fall from the tower, but I’m guessing that he has found another way to keep himself alive, possibly the good version of Voldemort’s horcruxes. Maybe a spell tied to Hogwarts, since Dumbledore says to Harry that he’ll never really be gone as long as there are those at the school who are loyal to him. (Or, maybe he never died in the first place; maybe he was able to wordlessly block the Killing Curse, fly over the side of the tower somehow and take the Draught of Living Death that we read about early in the book – the one Snape helped Harry make in Potions class as the Half-Blood Prince.) Dumbledore wouldn’t pursue immortality selfishly, but he would do it knowing that he is the only one who can help Harry finally kill Voldemort. And my next point follows logically (although Eric strongly disagrees with me on this one)…

- Snape is still on the good side. I believe that he has been working for Dumbledore all along and was in on the plan to stage the headmaster’s death, but he has to appear to be on Voldemort’s side in order to remain in his position as a spy. Killing Dumbledore would seal him forever in the Dark Lord’s good graces. So why didn’t Dumbledore tell Harry about his plan? Because Harry is a miserable failure at Occlumency, the ability to keep his thoughts hidden. This is Snape's parting shot to Harry as he is escaping the scene of Dumbledore's fall - that Harry can't defeat him in a duel until he learns to block others from his thoughts. Snape is extremely skilled in Occlumency and he can block memories of the plan from his mind to prevent Voldemort from seeing them. If Harry (or anyone else) knew about the plan, it would be far too easy for Voldemort to look into his mind and see that Dumbledore is still a threat.

The main reason I believe Snape is good is that as he leaves the scene of Dumbledore’s “death” he doesn’t harm a single person. If he had really just given up the pretense of being on the good side, wouldn’t he be firing curses at everyone willy-nilly the way the other Death Eaters did, trying to take out as many people as possible? And more to the point, why wouldn’t he take Harry with him and bring him directly to Voldemort now that Dumbledore is out of the way? Instead, he refuses to duel with Harry and simply deflects the curses Harry fires at him, then hits him out of the way in order to escape the duel and leave Harry safely behind.

-Dumbledore will show up in the final confrontation and show Harry how to defeat Voldemort. Snape will be instrumental too – now that Snape has Voldemort’s complete trust, he’ll be able to get the most crucial information of all: how to destroy him.
I can’t wait to see how Harry behaves now that he believes he is completely on his own. In Phoenix and Half-Blood Prince he blossoms into a leader. He accepts that his life will never be easy and decides that if he’s going to be killed by Voldemort, he’s going down fighting the way his parents, Sirius, and Dumbledore have done. Harry is going to kick some ass!

Sawyerisms

Sawyer is talking up a storm these days. He uses long, complicated sentences that are clearly full of complex and deep meaning. Unfortunately, he is the only one who understands what he's going on about. I feel like I did the first few months I was in France, when I could pick out individual words people were saying and get a general idea of the conversation, but the nuances were completely lost on me. We've managed to decipher a few key words.

"Giddy" - Get it (i.e., "please get it for me, Mother.")

"Kitties" - Not to be confused with "giddy". His favorite animal other than dogs - he doesn't say "dog" yet, he just signs it.

"Dee goo" - Thank you. He says this without being prompted now, which makes me so proud!

"Dum" - Some (as in, "may I have some please?") His normal usage: "DUM DUM DUM DUM!"

"Kah-ine" - Caroline, his favorite cousin

"Dad-Dad" - Grandad, who has been trying to no avail to get him to say "Judge Griffith."

"Bah-Bah" - Grandpa - I find this funny because his Grandpa's name is "Bob."

"Meh-mo" - Elmo, his favorite person ever (other than mom and dad of course!)

"Yish" - Yes

"Feetsh" - Fish

"Boomntz" - Balloons. This one sounds in no way like the English word. He makes a swallowing sound around the "m" that makes it sound like a strange dialect of German.

"Bah-boltz" - Bubbles


A typical conversation with Sawyer:

"A beesh blo sawt insha kitties."
"Oh really, did you see kitties?"
"Yish."
"What else did you see?"
"Huwty inpow blem blam sue Meh-mo."
"Oh, you saw Elmo?"
"Meh-mo binsh apol bah-boltz. Bah-boltz boomntz."

Congratulations, Eric!

My husband is a CCIE! After almost a year and a half of intense study (and very little time at home) he passed the lab portion of the CCIE exam yesterday. We got the results at 2:30 this morning and couldn't stop jumping up and down. I am so proud of him.

Here's a great article about the CCIE and how people react when they pass it and come out alive:
CCIE: Talk about a stress test
I think we're due for a BIG vacation soon!

Biggest Loser Update

I haven't updated on my weight loss in a while, but it's still going on! The contest officially ends a week from this Friday (although I plan to continue to lose more after it's over). I'm not likely to win at this point - I usually come in around 5th or 6th, right in the middle - but I'm fine with that. I've lost 11 pounds so far and I'm down a size. The best part though is how I feel - I have so much more energy than before and just about every part of me is tighter. I should be able to reach my goal by the end of the summer, and I should be in fairly good shape by the time we go to the beach at the end of July.

Kids and Their Cell Phones

Sorry Mom, I need to take this.

Go.

What?!

Excuse me Mom, could I have some privacy?

Why I haven't been blogging much.

Now that Sawyer is two (as of May 5th), we've entered the magical age of picky eating, temper tantrums, and a quickly expanding vocabulary. He's definitely not a baby anymore. It really is a lot of fun to be able to interact with him in all these new ways, but sometimes he demands so much of my attention that I feel like I can't get anything else done.

One of the big projects I've been squeezing in to my spare moments is getting my soap business up and going. As of a couple of weeks ago, I'm officially open for business on eBay. (Check it out here.) Sales are really starting to pick up, to the point where I am running around all day trying to get things labeled, packaged, and mailed. Once I get a good system down it will be much easier but I'm trying to figure so many things out at once that I'm a little like a headless chicken at the moment. And then I turn around from working on the computer to find a whole new project waiting for me:

So now I'm not just a stay at home mom - I'm a work from home mom too. It has its own challenges, but I'm enjoying it so far.

Five Years

Five years ago yesterday Eric and I got married. I can't believe it's been that long already - and at the same time, I can't believe it's only been that long since I can barely remember what life was like before we were married.

The traditional gift for the five year anniversary is wood; we modified it slightly to steak and went out to dinner at Morton's. When we first got married we decided not to buy gifts for anniversaries, but to use the money to go somewhere special. Pre-Sawyer that meant a weekend trip, now it means an elaborate dinner and a babysitter (thanks Spencer and Samm!) It was a fun night. Happy anniversary to us!

"The Man Behind the Curtain"

With just a few weeks left in this season of Lost, I thought it would be fun to brainstorm some ideas I've had about the show. I have loved the past couple of months with a new episode every single week. I feel like it's given it the momentum it needs to really build suspense and keep us guessing about the story. And it's always a plus to be able to remember what happened in the previous episode when you're watching a new one.

(Spoiler alert! If you haven’t watched last night’s episode yet this will give stuff away!)

Last night's episode, "The Man Behind the Curtain" had some interesting Biblical references. We learned that Ben's mother died giving birth to him; in the Bible, Benjamin was the youngest son of Rachel, and she died when he was born. Benjamin's father was Jacob, so it's interesting that Jacob is the name of the invisible man who Ben insists is in charge on the island. Ben definitely needs a father figure, considering what a douche his own dad was - and the fact that he killed him.

I’m pretty sure that Jacob is a ghost. We know Ben can see dead people as he saw his mother as a boy, and we know that some people get this ability on the island and it’s considered a special gift. Maybe that’s why Ben was so upset that Locke was able to hear Jacob – it shows that Locke has some of that ability too and it is threatening to Ben’s position as leader. Ben was also threatened by Locke’s healing after the plane crash, and the fact that Ben isn’t healing so well after his surgery. He sees Locke as someone who could possibly depose him, and he knows there are many who would be glad to see that happen (Juliet especially.)

One thing is for sure – ghost or not, Jacob is real. Ben’s reaction to Locke having heard him is good enough evidence for that, but if you need more proof, here it is – several people at lost-forum.com have posted screencaps of the scene in Jacob’s house, and in one of the stills you can actually see him. (I thought I saw him out of the corner of my eye, but I was so freaked out by the scene that I wasn't sure if I had imagined it!)

So who is Jacob? Alvar Hanso? Desmond from another dimension? Locke's evil twin? Maybe it’s someone else from the Dharma Initiative who was killed in the purge. Horace Goodspeed? Or maybe it’s one of the “natives” who has been in charge for a long time. And about those natives; how did they get to the island? Are they immortal? From the time Ben firsts meets Richard to the present day, he doesn’t seem to have aged at all. Did they come on the Black Rock? Are they the Pirates of the Caribbean?

I thought this episode was excellent, and incredibly creepy. I watched it by myself after everyone went to bed and I was so scared afterwards I had to watch “Thank God You’re Here” before I went to bed just to calm myself down. I can’t remember the last time a television show had that kind of effect on me. That’s good TV.

A Bit of Musical Self-Indulgence

Here's that fun music survey where you put your mp3 player on shuffle and the songs are the answers to the questions.

I think the most revealing part of this survey is you get to see what kind of music everyone is listening to...and you just KNOW that your iPod is going to land on those NSync songs you just haven't ever brought yourself to delete!


So here goes...

How am I feeling today? Beth Orton "Worms"
“Worms don’t dance, they haven’t got the balls.” Couldn’t agree more.

Will I get far in life? Ryan Adams & The Cardinals "Sweet Illusions"
I’m noticing that yes/no questions don’t work well for this sort of survey…unless you happen to come across a song called “Yes” or “No”.

How do my friends see me? Hanson "Strong Enough to Break"
See, I told you it would be embarrassing!

When will I get married? Heather Nova "London Rain (Nothing Heals Me Like You Do)"
I guess this works since there’s no song I know of called “I already did 5 years ago.”

What's my theme song? Joshua Radin "Star Mile"
I don’t know if it fits, but holy frijoles, what a great song. “Life comes to those that’ll choose the regular news over playing the blues with the light on.” I am a Joshua Radin fiend as of late.

What is the story of my life? Paul Weller "Above the Clouds"
My husband would definitely agree.

How can I get ahead in life? They Might Be Giants "Space Suit"
Is it too late to go to Space Camp?

What is my best feature? Colin Hay "My Brilliant Feat"
Why yes, I am brilliant!

How is today going to be? Sublime "What I Got"
I don’t get angry when my mom smokes pot.

What is in store for this weekend? Tori Amos "Baker Baker"
I hope this means there are pastries involved!

What is my life like at the moment? Noah Paley "Moonlight Still"

What song describes my secrets? 10,000 Maniacs "Circle Dream"
I’m secretly kind of a pagan.

What is my current lover like? The Smiths "Bigmouth Strikes Again"
HAHAHA! (Eric, I swear I didn't do this on purpose!! Blame iTunes!)

What song will they play at my funeral? Rufus Wainwright "When, In Disgrace With Fortune and Men’s Eyes"
Actually that would be really cool.

How does the world see me? Duke Ellington "Night Creature"
Well, I do like to stay up late…to make soap.

Will I have a happy life? The Verve "Bitter Sweet Symphony"
Sounds about right.

What do my friends really think of me? Frank Sinatra "The Lady is a Tramp"
Oh man.

Do people secretly lust after me? Lit "Miserable"
“You make me complete…ly miserable”

Will I accomplish my goals in life? Caedmon’s Call "Bus Driver"
I need to set some new goals.

Will I find true love? Ryan Adams "Oh My Sweet Carolina"
Ryan again…makes sense since Ryan Adams songs make up at least ¼ of my entire library. Another one of my all-time favorite songs.

How do I treat others? Matthew Sweet "We're The Same"

Weigh-In Number Two

Today was weigh-in number two in the Biggest Loser challenge. I'm down another two pounds. I was hoping for more, but I guess it's not too bad considering that this week included Easter, and my lady's time is fast approaching. I'm going to step my exercise up a notch and see if I can catch up next week.

I am loving the diet I'm on. I'm following the plan from Dr. Oz's book You On A Diet. There's so much about it that's perfect for me. There's no counting calories, and no real deprivation. I eat whole wheat breads and cereals, lots of fruits and veggies, and fish or lean meats. All foods I love! I've also adopted a strategy from Body for Life where you are allowed to take one day a week off of the diet. Knowing that in a week or less I can eat whatever I want makes it so much easier to eat right the rest of the week, as opposed to feeling like I will NEVER have a hamburger again.

Something else that's made it easier to stick to is that I am working my butt off to get my handmade soap business up and running. I'm aiming for an opening date of June 1st, so I am making one or two batches of soap a day so that it will have time to cure and be ready to sell before then. I'm tweaking my recipes and trying new techniques that are really fun. With so much going on that I find interesting and stimulating, boredom eating isn't a problem anymore. Watch out skinny jeans, here I come!

Look More Closelier

My first Big Loser weigh-in was yesterday. I stepped on the scale with complete and utter trepidation, because I worked really hard all week and if I had nothing to show for it I would have been so discouraged. Luckily, I did have results! Down 4 lbs. Yay! I am even more motivated now to keep going.

On a different topic, I saw the funniest South Park the other day about the "true" origins of the Easter Bunny. If you've read/seen The DaVinci Code you'll love it. Here's a clip - so funny!

Why there's an Easter Bunny

Happy Easter!

I Want to be a Big Loser!

One of the ladies from my online fertility/moms group had a great idea. Since so many of us are trying to lose weight, she set up a Biggest Loser competition. We all put in $20 and at the end of the competition whoever has lost the highest percentage of weight gets the pot. It starts today. I am really excited to finally get the rest of this baby weight off of me (can I really still call it "baby weight" when my baby is almost two?) and be ready for bathing suit season. I'm following the You On a Diet plan - whole grains, nuts, fruits and veggies, and lean meats - and walking, rowing and doing yoga. I'll post my results when it's over at the end of the 12 weeks. NO before pictures though - no good can come from sending those out into the world!