Chemical

The results are (finally) all in:

7/1: hCG 30
7/5: 59
7/7: 64
7/11: 9

It's officially a chemical pregnancy. We are very sad, especially after being so surprised to get a positive in the first place. I keep telling people I was prepared to find out the FET didn't work at all, but I wasn't prepared to find out it did work, then maybe, then maybe not, then definitely not. It's been a very long ten days being in limbo, not knowing what will happen. In a way it's a relief not to have to wonder anymore, even though the news isn't good.

Thanks to all of you for your supportive words and prayers - we have needed them all and they have helped! We plan to move on to a fresh cycle soon.

Positive.....?

Yesterday was the big day - my quantitative hCG blood test. It was also the final day of Young Women camp, where I spent the past week as a level leader. (SO much fun, and so exhausting!) While at camp I tested with HPTs daily and on Wednesday, 7 days past our 5 day transfer (7dp5dt for those in the online infertile world) I got the faintest second line I've ever seen. In fact, I didn't quite believe that it was actually there, it was that light. The lighting in the camp bathrooms - and I'm using the word "bathrooms" here very loosely - was so dim that I had to take the tests outside into the sunlight to read them, which was somewhat comical since I didn't want anyone to know what I was doing, so I had to try to hide them behind my hand while also letting enough sunlight in to read the result. I texted E about that second line but didn't tell anyone else because it was so light I didn't really believe it yet. Thursday (8dp5dt) I tested again, and the line was still faint, but definitely there. I told my camp partner and sent out a few text messages.

Friday morning I had planned to go straight to LabCorp after packing up at camp, hoping I would get there early enough to get my results the same day. My sweet level leader partner Lezlie convinced me to leave early to make sure I wouldn't have to wait all weekend. Because of the 4th of July I would have had to wait until Tuesday, which was unfathomably long. I made it out by 7:40 and didn't get to LabCorp until 8:30 because my GPS kept telling me to turn onto streets that didn't exist (iPhone navigation finally came to the rescue.) I still thought that would be plenty of time. Once I got home, I took a shower, changed my clothes and waited by the phone. And waited. And waited. Finally at 4:30 I called the clinic, where I was very surprised to hear that they had not received my results, that they don't usually put STAT on the hCG lab orders (WHAT?!) and it was normal for them not to get results from LabCorp until 8 or 9 pm, long after the center closes. I just about lost it at this point, after having gone to so much trouble to get to LabCorp early enough in the day, only to have to wait over a 3 day weekend to get results. The receptionist I was talking to has never been exactly compassionate when I've had problems before (just her personality I think) but she seemed to feel sorry for me and promised to leave a note for Lan to call me first thing in the morning, since she was coming in for a transfer. I know I'm hormonal, and exhausted from camp, and a hundred other things, but REALLY? Is it that unreasonable to get hCG results the same day? I have NEVER heard of another center making patients wait overnight or longer to get results. This alone is enough to make me consider going with another clinic if we do this again.

Anyway...the call finally came this morning, and it was worth the wait - I got to hear the words "You're pregnant!" So wonderful to hear. The next bit was not as wonderful. My hCG is only 30. Within the normal range for 9dp5dt, but on the low side. The next test on Tuesday will give us a much better idea of whether this pregnancy is viable. And now you know why I'm postdating this entry. I'm not ready to put the news out there until we know things are developing normally.