Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Ugly Toys, Happy Boy

Before having a baby I swore I would never let my house get taken over by all those ugly, bright plastic toys that seem to clutter up the living rooms of otherwise decorating-savvy young parents. I was unable to keep my promise to myself though. It started before he was born with the Fisher Price Aquarium swing, given to him by his grandparents. It is truly hideous, but he loved it from the start and it was a convenient place to set him down so it ended up right in the middle of our living room. The latest addition - his ExerSaucer. It's so garish it makes the swing look tasteful, but having a place where he can safely play by himself makes uglying up my house totally worth it. He goes absolutely nuts over the blue elephant; I think once he gets teeth that thing is going to be chewed to pieces. So I guess my point here is that life is all about change and compromise, and one of the compromises of parenthood is having ugly toys in your living room.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

24 - The Mommy Version

My name is Chelsea, AKA Mommy. The following takes place on November 15th, 2005. Events occur in real time.

5:47 a.m. I wake up in the dark to the sound of Sawyer cheerfully babbling to himself. "Geesh. Geesh. Geesh. Uh. Uh. Oh." After silently begging him to go back to sleep for a few minutes, I realize that it's not going to happen when Eric comes in from his shower and enthusiastically bounces the bed, making the little munchkin squeal and laugh. Time to get up.

6:02 a.m. Change Sawyer's diaper and get him dressed. Morning is his happiest time of the day so I always feel bad that I'm about as much fun as a snail at such an early hour. I make an effort to be as upbeat as possible by giving him several zerberts and kisses on his cheek.

6:10 a.m. Head downstairs and put Sawyer in his Exersaucer, where he plays joyfully while I watch Fox News and eat a bowl of Fruit Loops (the new breakfast of champions.)

6:30 a.m. Kiss Eric goodbye as he leaves for work. He asks me about some bills I paid and for the millionth time since we got married, I marvel at his ability to think clearly in the morning. At least I know where Sawyer gets his morning perkiness from.

6:48 a.m. Sawyer starts to fuss and wants to be taken out of his Exersaucer. I pick him up and I can tell he's hungry and sleepy. We go upstairs so I can nurse him in bed. When I set him down on the bed and start to pull back the covers he gets all excited, kicking his legs and laughing because he knows what's coming - Eric calls this the Booby Dance.

6:55 a.m. Sawyer falls asleep while nursing, lying on my tummy. YES! Relieved, I gently roll him over onto the mattress, close my eyes and drift off.

9:50 a.m. I wake up again, feeling much more rested than before. Sawyer is lying on his back, grabbing his toes and blowing bubbles. When he sees that I'm awake he grins at me.

10:00 a.m. After another diaper change, we go back downstairs and I set him down in his swing as I put on my tennis shoes and attempt to drag a brush through my hair.

10:05 a.m. I head out for our morning walk, pushing the stroller. It's a gorgeous autumn day. I notice a pile of dog doo on our lawn, which is odd considering that we don't have a dog. One of our neighbors has been letting his/her dog poo on our lawn for a year now. I wonder if we'll ever find out who. I briefly consider calling my brother, the forensic scientist, and asking him to do DNA testing on the poo, but then come to the conclusion that they probably don't have a doggie DNA database.

10:19 a.m. On Sweetbriar Lane I have a brief chat with a neighbor mom who was pushing a brand new baby in a Peg Perego stroller. It's funny how after you have a baby, everyone else who has a baby comes out of the woodwork and suddenly you see moms and babies everywhere. It's a lot easier to talk to strangers too, because you instantly have something in common. I'm momentarily taken aback when she tells me her baby is named "Pablo" - they both have light blond hair.

11:04 a.m. Back home. I hold Sawyer in my lap while I pay bills online and do research on carseats - he has almost outgrown his infant seat. I want a Britax because they are supposed to be the safest, most comfortable ones out there, but I'm still working on justifying the cost ($250+) to Eric. I think I may be able to convince him because most seats have to be replaced once the child is over 35 lbs, but the Britax Marathon can go up to 60 lbs.

11:23 a.m. Bill paying time is over even though I'm not done because Sawyer has a total meltdown. He has very little patience for me being on the computer - it's like he can't understand why I'm staring at that glowing box and ignoring him.

11:30 a.m. Time for Nap #2. This time I nurse him to sleep and sneak off downstairs so I can get some things done. Laundry time!

12:02 p.m. Crap. While carrying laundry I tripped over Eric's shoe in the hallway and woke him up.

12:10 p.m. After nursing him back to sleep I QUIETLY sneak downstairs and continue laundry. While it's washing I download songs from iTunes and chat with the ladies on my LDS Moms discussion board.

12:30 p.m. I have lunch - a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and chocolate milk. I make a grocery list for later.

1:47 p.m. Little guy wakes up. Two good naps - today is a good day!

2:25 p.m. Head out to the grocery store and the post office. Sawyer is not happy about being strapped into his carseat and makes sure I know it. This is why I want to invest in a carseat that is very comfortable for him, it would make my life so much easier if he actually liked being in the car. Luckily the market is just a couple of miles down the street from us.

2:34 p.m. Sawyer is much happier once I get him in his sling and wear him around the grocery store. He gets a big kick out of watching me pick out fruit. he reaches out and tries to grab an apple and when he can't reach it he lets out an unbelievable ear piercing shriek, causing several people around us to laugh.

4:00 p.m. Back from the store with groceries for two weeks. Sawyer falls asleep on the way home so I leave him in his carseat on the floor of the living room while I put things away.

4:11 p.m. He wakes up and is groggy and grumpy. I pick him up, sit in my glider and feed him while I watch Oprah. It's about people who wear the wrong type of jeans and bras for their body. Sawyer is getting worse and worse at nursing while anything is going on around him. He's so curious about what's going on that he constantly turns his head, and he doesn't always remember to let go of my nipple first. OUCH.

5:00 p.m. I take Sawyer upstairs for his third nap, which is usually only about half an hour. I go downstairs and call my mom.

6:00 p.m. He is still asleep! I can start dinner in peace!

6:02 p.m. He's awake. Another diaper change and a quick feed - I guess he didn't eat enough last time thanks to Oprah. Back downstairs to do dinner.

6:04 p.m. We've entered Grumpy Time. The way Sawyer acts in the evening is exactly how I feel in the morning. Ugh.

6:10 p.m. Eric calls to say he's on his way home and that traffic is bad. He can hear Sawyer screaming in the background and I worry that he might turn the car around and head the other direction.

7:00 p.m. Eric is finally home. When I hear his car pull up in front of the house I murmur a silent prayer of thanks. I'm just about at the end of my rope with the little monster. Sawyer momentarily forgets that he's fussy and laughs out loud, kicks his legs and swings his arms when he sees his daddy come through the door. Eric changes his clothes and we sit down to have dinner. We take turns holding Mr. Grumpypants.

7:30 p.m. Eric takes Sawyer upstairs to have his bath and to read him a story, "Curious George and the Bunny". Sawyer likes being read to, but mostly that consists of him trying to grab the book and shove it in his mouth. One day maybe he'll appreciate the stories too and not just the way those cardboard books taste.

7:47 p.m. The little guy is all ready for bed. I lie down with him and nurse him to sleep, then sneak out.

8:15 p.m. Freedom! Eric and I talk for a while, share a bowl of ice cream and watch TV. I get out my scrapbooking stuff and make a new page.

10:02 p.m. I take a bath and read "Yoga Journal" magazine. This is my favorite time of the day. No interruptions, total quiet. Ahhhhhh.

11:00 p.m. Something wakes Sawyer up. I cuddle him back to sleep, which thankfully only takes a couple of minutes.

11:05 p.m. I go back downstairs and watch Season One of "24" which we are renting from Netflix. I wish I could be Jack Bauer! But I wouldn't be nearly as good at torturing people. Plus, I am attracted to men, and Jack Bauer just wouldn't work as a gay guy.

12:00 a.m. I force myself to go to bed. I'm always tempted to stay up way later than I should because it's the only time I'm alone and free to do whatever I want. But I know if I don't set a limit I'll be exhausted tomorrow. When enter our room I have to suppress a giggle because Eric and Sawyer are sleeping in the same position, on their backs with their arms stretched out up over their heads, and they are both snoring. I wish I could take a picture. I nudge Eric to get him to turn over and stop snoring.

12:15 a.m. Asleep...Until the morning.

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