Do the ChaCha!

I haven't been spending much time blogging lately because I just started working for ChaCha. I took the test to become a guide (someone who receives texts online and researches and answers questions) on Monday and got my acceptance on Wednesday. It's a fun job, and perfect for my schedule since I can work whenever I want to and if something comes up (like, I don't know, a 3 year old dumping out an entire box of Cheerios into the shoe box) I can go take care of it and come right back and keep working. The pay varies a lot depending on how fast you can answer questions, and I'm still pretty slow so I'm not making much yet, but I'm hoping it will become a nice source of a little extra cash. Mostly to fund my soap habit. And my book habit. And all my other habits. So far I'm having a good time with it and learning a lot of (mostly useless) information at the same time. People ask some bizarre things. Stay tuned for reports of crazy questions and answers!

The best-laid plans...

Remember how I was talking about stepping up my workouts? Like a week ago? Well, it hasn't happened. Between several days of rain and Sawyer and me both being sick, it's been the worst workout week ever. Yesterday morning I was determined to get my five miles in, come hell or high water, and I did it. I felt like I was going to die after two miles and just about had to crawl the last mile (OK, I'm exaggerating, but it was a lot harder than normal.) So today I'm home and resting on the couch. Am I being smart to listen to my body, or should I just power through? I don't know. But I do know it feels really, really good to lie down.

I've been bumped down to #6 on Fitify, and the #5 person is 12 miles ahead of me. Crap. (The #1 person has 214 miles! That's 7 miles a day, 7 days a week! How cool is that?) Here's hoping next week will be better...

I'm like the pioneer children, without the singing...

...because they too walked and walked and walked...and walked. I just noticed that I'm in the top 10 for walkers on Facebook's Fitify application. Number 5. Yeah, baby! I've walked 73 miles in the past 30 days. I'm planning to step things up in the next couple of weeks, so watch out Number 4!

My goal is to walk 5 miles a day, 5 days a week (Monday-Friday), but so far life has gotten in the way of that happening. I have yet to do 5 consecutive days because something always comes up. I am determined to make it happen next week! This one's already screwed because I couldn't go this morning due to some intestinal issues I'm not willing to blog about. Feel free to thank me for that.

Additional goals: Eric and I are joining a gym together. I doubt we'll ever go at the same time, but it is nice that we're both becoming more fitness conscious at the same time. I also want to get in the habit of doing yoga every night before I go to bed. This is hard since by the end of the day I'm so tired and all my favorite TV shows are just getting started up again (Heroes tonight! The Office on Thursday!) Thank goodness for the DVR. I just need to have the discipline to schedule that time and stick with it. The healthiest I've ever felt was when I was practicing consistently and I want to get back to that level again.

I am really enjoying the walking. It's my favorite part of the day, being outside and having quiet time - although now that I think about it it's not entirely quiet since I'm listening to podcasts and trying to placate Sawyer, who starts whining "Playground, playground" around mile 3. Still. I enjoy it. It's something I know I can stick with, unlike running, which every time I've tried it is just painful, painful, and more painful. I had asthma as a child and I still associate running with the yearly torture of "running the mile" in PE class, which always involved a horrible attack and subsequent vomiting. (Looking back, I don't know why I never got a doctor's note to skip it.) In college I was in a car accident that left me with a back injury and I still have pain from that, which makes running even less fun. Walking is low impact enough to feel great and still get a good workout.

Any other walkers out there? Runners (masochists)? What else do you do to keep in shape?

Information that would have been useful to me YESTERDAY

Eric and I were in Nordstrom yesterday and, like the fragrance ho that I am, I stopped to sample the essential oil perfumes from L'Occitane. I particularly liked the Lavender Eau de la Recolte Bleue and had Eric come over to smell it on my wrist. "Doesn't that smell great?" I said. "Hmmm," he replied, "I really don't like vanilla perfumes." Turns out he was smelling a little higher up on my arm, where I had applied my perfume. Which I've been wearing daily for a good 6 months. Which is Aquolina's Pink Sugar, a vanilla based perfume. So he's been hating how I smell for the past 6 months and never said anything. That's a considerate man for you - if I don't like his aftershave/cologne I protest loudly and then buy him something *I* like. So I guess I'm in the market for a new signature fragrance - something not vanilla based. Any suggestions?

Superheroine

You Are Trinity

"Touch me and that hand will never touch anything again."

What Superheroine Are You?

This explains a lot about Eric's choice in marrying me - he is a Matrix junkie. Now if only I could fit back into my pre-baby pleather jumpsuit again...

Weird Pastime #23

I like to look through the Pottery Barn Kids catalog and see what baby names are inscribed on things, and therefore trendy enough to cross off my list for future children. (Not that there's anything wrong with having a trendy name, I just don't want to give my kids one.) I look at the furniture too, but let's face it, I'm way too cheap to actually order anything from there. We got our current bed* on Craigslist. And it was originally from Ikea.

Here are some of the names in the most recent edition:

Dylan
Brooke
Aaron
Laura
Oliver (a name I can't hear without thinking "Well 'ello guvnah!")
Taylor (for a boy)
Hannah
Callie
Matt
Caroline and Mary (these two were on the same page, which is funny since those are my nieces' names)
Nathan
Andrew
Avery
Carson
Randy (really? Randy?)
Allie
Madison
Devon (for a girl)
Cody
Stella
Gavin
Marissa
Sadie
Chase
Tristan
Claire
Meghan

I really like some of those names, despite their apparent trendiness. But I'm glad there are no Sawyers. I have met two different little Sawyers at Target (thankfully both boys) in the past few months, so I'm afraid it's becoming more popular. But as long as he's not one of 4 Sawyers in his kindergarten class, I don't really care that much. There is such a thing as having a name that is TOO unique. If our only requirement was that he never meet someone else with his name we would have dubbed him Dweezil or Moon Unit (except, oops, both of those are already taken.)

*Just the bed itself, not the mattress. I'm not that cheap.

Living the Dream

"I'll tell you one thing, I am not going to be one of those women schlepping her kids around in a minivan. I want an SUV... with three rows of seats."
-Kelly Kapoor, The Office




Until recently, I had been driving our Honda Accord that we bought soon after Sawyer was born. We picked it out just for me and I was very happy with it. Comfortable, easy to clean leather seats, XM radio. But with Eric's new office being a bit farther away and gas prices being so high, we figured out that we could save over $300 a month just by switching cars. So now he's driving the Accord, which means I get his car: a big manly Dodge Durango. Not the car I would have chosen for myself, but I'm finding that it is nice to have all that room for strollers, toys, groceries, etc. in the back. And that third row of seats has gotten a lot more use than I thought it would - you know, considering that I only have one child. The gas mileage is truly horrible, but I so rarely drive more than a few miles at a time that it isn't too much of an issue. Of course, I had to personalize it immediately by putting my LOST sticker on the back, and before long I'll have it decorated to the point that Eric will be embarrassed to drive it from now on (I think something along the lines of "Breast is Best!" or "Soapers do it with bubbles" would probably do the trick.) Yep, I'm living the dream!

Walking

This week I started a new exercise routine: walking on a nearby bike trail. I've been doing three miles a day, which for me is a lot (all you serious runners, please don't laugh at me!) It takes me about an hour, so I'm not going super fast either - but since prior to this week I was doing almost nothing, I feel good about it. I'm footsore and muscle sore, and it feels great. Today I went the extra mile - literally - and did four. It hasn't been hard to get up and go because the weather this whole week has been fantastic. Cool in the mornings and evenings, breezy, and never too hot. Virginia in August is usually so hot and humid that you get drenched in sweat just cracking open the front door, so this is unseasonably temperate. Nature must approve of my attempts at exercising.

I brought the camera along today so I could capture some of the beauty of the trail. For some reason everything came out a bit overexposed (I'm the epitome of "amateur enthusiast" when it comes to photography and generally have no idea what I'm doing) but I got some good shots of some flowers and critters along the way. And one near miss that could have been a great photo, but isn't.

The trail.


Ready to hit the road in my new shoes.


The underbrush is so dense this time of year. It's no wonder Sawyer always says "It's a rainforest!"


Part of the trail goes past a quarry. Sawyer loves to stop and see the huge trucks.


Goose Creek. Sorry about the chain link. For some reason they want to make sure the bikers don't fall off the bridge. By the way, you should know that it was a personal triumph for me to actually stop in the middle of the bridge to take this picture because of my crippling fear of heights. I was white-knuckling the camera the whole time.


Virginia countryside. I love the color of the grass at the end of summer, all bleached out by the sun.


Sawyer squinting into the sun and showing me his flower. He held onto it until it wilted away completely.


I wish I could tell you the names of all these flowers, but I have no idea what most of them are. Maybe a Virginian naturalist could step in and enlighten me (Katy??)



With Sawyer's help, I saw a lot of animals today.

A little groundhog that ran off as soon as we got too close and dived into his hole.



A moth that was fluttering around the wildflowers.






A large bird (how's that for descriptive?)



A heron and some Canada geese (I know what those are!)



Circling birds.


And the worst, which could have been the best:


Can you see it? Me either. I had stopped to photograph a bird that was perched on a branch, was just zooming in and focusing when I heard a crash in the brush close by. I jumped about a mile and looked up to see a male whitetail deer with a huge rack of antlers about 10 feet away from me. I was so startled that it took me a few seconds to get the camera pointed at him, and by that time he was completely covered by the bushes. Too bad I'm not Dwight Schrute.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year...

...because it's beach time! Sawyer and I leave tomorrow for a whole two weeks at the Outer Banks. My whole family (minus my sister Erin who's in the midst of moving to New Zealand) and my mom's family will be there. I can't wait to see everyone. Eric can't come this year because 1) he doesn't have much vacation time yet since starting his new job a couple of months ago, and 2) Verizon is going on strike next week and he has to be there to pick up the pieces (he doesn't get to go on strike because he's not a Verizon employee.) He's planning to come down next weekend, and I'm hoping he can extend his stay for at least a few days beyond that. We'll see.

I'm a little nervous about driving down by myself tomorrow, mostly because Sawyer has been a complete terror the last few days. Whiney, fussy and tantrum-y. Whoever said the Terrible Twos were the worst phase never met a three year old. Or at least they never met Sawyer. I think I'm prepared - portable DVD player with Dora the Explorer DVDs, check. Huge box of fruit snacks, check. Leaving in the evening in hopes he'll fall asleep, check. Dramamine in case he doesn't fall asleep soon enough, check (thanks for the suggestion Jen!) Not stopping at mean grandma's on the way, double check! So I think I'll be OK. I think.

No Grad School For Me

Movie Reviews

So I guess when I get a postgrad degree I'll have to start using fancier words on my blog. I'll probably have to stop writing about Etsy finds and celebrity crushes too. Worth it? Maybe, maybe not.

To the N to the J

I'm going up to New Jersey tonight so I can be there for Andrea's baby shower this weekend. I am really excited to get out of the house for a few days. No one ever told me before I was a mom that one day a 5 hour car drive all alone would be a sought-after luxury. But it really is. I've got my iPod loaded up with podcasts and music. I can't wait. Oh, and I'm excited to see Andrea too.

A couple of items of business before I leave: FIRST, Arianne is having another giveaway on her blog. And it involves CHOCOLATE! Go check it out.

Also: I have another new favorite blog. By the creators of I Can Has Cheezburger comes FAIL Blog, with photos and videos of spectacular failures. (Just a warning that some of them are kind of crude. What can I say, I like that sort of thing.) Some of my recent favorites:

Spell it rite!

This post is inspired by Arianne's lament about bad grammar. I hate bad spelling. Intellectually I do realize that spelling "correctly" is an artificial construction, goes against the nature of language itself which is flowing, evolving, organic, etc. and that the important thing is the ability to communicate. And I certainly make mistakes myself. But man, I hate it when I see stuff misspelled! It produces a visceral reaction in me not unlike the feeling I get when I see myself in a photo wearing a bathing suit.

A few of the worst:

Its vs. it's. "It's" means "it is". "Its" indicates a possessive. It can be confusing because usually adding 's to the end of a noun makes a possessive. But trust me, it doesn't work that way with "it."
"It's too bad that the plane lost its engine."
Closely related to this one are your/you're and their/there/they're.

Per se. I see this one all the time on message boards as "per say". AHHH!

Voilà. I had a boss in college that would say (and write) "Walla!" with a flourish. And each time, the Académie Française woke up in a cold sweat. In case you were wondering, "voilà" is French for "there it is."

Affect vs. effect. Affect is a verb, effect is a noun.
"How does bad spelling affect me?" "Bad spelling has an annoying effect on me."

Family names in the plural. You don't ever use an apostrophe to make a plural. This includes proper names. So the Griffith family would be "the Griffiths." Not "the Griffith's."

I'm not saying that everyone has to be a spelling genius, or that if you can't spell you're stupid - I think naturally good spellers are pretty rare. But that's what spell checkers and dictionaries are for! Use'em, people. Being a good speller makes you sound more intelligent, and it could even get you a better job.

What are some of your spelling/grammar pet peeves?

Well, now what?

I don't think I'm allergic to Red 40 after all. My itchiness has been gone for a few days so yesterday I decided to test it out. I ate a few different foods that all contained the dye and...nothing. No reaction at all. So now I have NO idea what I was reacting to before. I was actually hoping it was the Red 40 because that would be so easy to avoid in the future. Shoot. Allergist's office, here I come (as soon as I make an appointment.)

Itchy Itchy Cocoa Puff!

That's an expression Eric claims he grew up with, and he says it whenever he's itchy. Now that I think of it, it probably means something obscene, so if you know what it means, don't tell me.

I've been having what I think are allergic reactions. It starts with a tingling/burning sensation around my lips, and within a few hours develops into all over itchy-ness and hives. I'm having one today that started last night. I could hardly sleep I was so itchy. I should have just gotten up and taken some Benadryl, but for some reason that didn't occur to me in the middle of the night. This is the fourth reaction I've had in about 6 weeks, and I think I know what's causing it: Red 40. Yep, I'm turning into one of those crazy people who thinks the government is trying to poison us through our food colorings. The first two times I had a reaction I had been eating Fruity Pebbles (go ahead and laugh, it's funny. Sometimes I'm like an 8 year old.) I thought I was getting my first ever cold sore, so it took me a couple of days to realize that it was probably an allergy (once it spread from my lips to all over my body that was a good clue.) The third time I had just eaten Red Vines, so that was another clue - Red Vines have a super short ingredient list and Red 40 is on there. After that I made up my mind to avoid Red 40 and see if I had any other reactions. Last night when my lips started tingling I couldn't think of what it could be since I hadn't had anything that was red - until I realized I had bought a case of Cheerwine (the most delicious soda ever) at the grocery store and had some on my way to Enrichment. It didn't even occur to me that it was red because I drank it right out of the can. When I got home I checked the ingredient list: sure enough, it has Red 40. Crap.

I need to make an appointment with an allergist. Eric just started a new job a couple of weeks ago, and they put the wrong name on the insurance cards so we're waiting for new ones. As soon as we get them, it's off to allergy testing for me. For now I'll be drowsy on Benadryl, trying not to scratch all my skin off.

How Many Lives do Macs Have?

My MacBook is on its third life - or at least, its third hard drive. Last Saturday morning I was reading blogs when it suddenly froze. I had to force quit and manually shut down, and when I started it back up again, guess what? A gray screen with a flashing, question-marked folder. No hard drive. Just like last time. I couldn't believe it. So Sawyer and I spent the afternoon driving to Tyson's Corner for another visit to the Genius Bar (Eric was studying.). I had to leave it overnight, and again they were unable to save anything from the hard drive. It's a good thing I learned my lesson last time and had backed everything up a couple of weeks ago. But I did lose the Enrichment invitations I had designed for Relief Society and my passwords list, which for some reason didn't make it onto the data disk I burned during the last backup. It's going to be a HUGE pain to remember and/or request replacements for all those passwords. But hey, at least my ginormous iTunes library is safe! My next purchase: an external hard drive so I can back up more frequently. I hope if it's going to die again it happens soon, because the warranty expires in July.

Coming Out

I've come out about some pretty big things on my blog: infertility, priesthood envy, liking They Might be Giants. Here's another one: I am kind of a hippie.

There is a lot of evidence to the contrary. I'm Mormon, and we tend to be pretty preppy in general. I usually vote republican. I don't wear peasant skirts or Birkenstocks. I live in a yuppie paradise, where we have 50+ chain restaurants within a five mile radius and everyone has perfectly manicured lawns, 2.5 kids and twin Golden Retrievers. Despite all this, here are some of the things that make me a closet hippie (or "clippie.")

-I make soap. (In some circles, that is the only criteria you need.)
-I play acoustic guitar.
-I believe in extended breastfeeding, and have no qualms about whipping out a boob in public to do it.
-I use reusable grocery bags (although this is becoming more and more common, even in yuppie circles, thanks to Oprah).
-I use a Diva cup.
-I think it's sexist that women have to shave their legs. (I still do it though.)
-I know how to compost.
-I'm named after a Joni Mitchell song. Although this says more about my parents than about me, since they're the ones who picked it.
-I grow organic vegetables and herbs.
-I practice yoga and meditation.

So there it is. Thanks to the blogosphere, I have very few secrets left.

200th Post

This is my 200th post! Which isn't as impressive as it sounds since I've had this blog since 2004. I have gotten better at posting more regularly though.

Arianne tagged me with the 5 Things Meme a while back and I figured today was a good day to tackle it. Sorry it took me so long!

5 Things Meme

What I was doing ten years ago...
1) Taking a semester off from BYU. I had recently broken off an engagement and needed some time to myself and some space. I ended up not going back to BYU the next semester either, I went to Southern Virginia College (now University) instead. Then after my mission I went back to BYU.
2) Living with my parents in Virginia. Along with needing space, I needed to get out of Utah.
3) Working 3 jobs. I worked in a music store, an LDS bookstore, and as a tutor for high school kids.
4) Learning to play the guitar. I practiced constantly - whenever I wasn't at work, my guitar was in my hands. That's something I want to bring back into my life, I don't play nearly as much as I would like to now.
5) Writing to Eric on his mission in Italy. He was awful about writing back, so I only wrote a few times.

Five things on my to-do list today...
1) Fold laundry (that's pretty much always on my to-do list.)
2) Go to the grocery store.
3) Take pictures of new soaps to list on Etsy.
4) Wash my car. The pollen count has been so high the past few days that it's covered in yellow dust. It doesn't help that my car is black.
5) Get some more plastic storage bins for Sawyer's new toys he got for his birthday. I'm learning that the older kids get, the more pieces their toys come with.

Five snacks I enjoy...
1) Cold cereal. I practically lived off it in college. It's what I have for breakfast every single day.
2) Baguette with goat cheese. In fact this can be a whole meal for me. Sawyer loves it too, although he prefers to lick the cheese off and just use the bread as a delivery device.
3) Ice cream. Anytime, anywhere! I just discovered a new favorite flavor - Häagen-Dazs Sticky Toffee Pudding.
4) Special K Cereal Bars. The Chocolatey Drizzle ones are my favorite - and they're just 90 calories a bar.
5) Fruit. Almost any kind. I'm on a mango kick lately.

Five things I would do if I was a billionaire...
1) Hire a housekeeper. I have so many things I want to do and housework just gets in the way. I love having a clean house (and I can't function if I let things go) but I resent the time it takes from other things that seem more important and interesting.
2) Open my own boutique, and hire someone else to run it. Like the housework, it's something that would be really fun to have, but not so much fun to actually do.
3) Travel travel travel. I want to go everywhere.
4) Buy a simple house with a lot of land. I have no desire to have a huge house, but I would love to have the acreage for gardening, raising chickens, keeping horses, and having as many dogs as I want. There are some really nice things about suburbia, but I don't feel at home there.
5) Give a lot of money away. It would be the best feeling to be able to give huge amounts of money to people who could really benefit from it.

Five of my bad habits....
1) When I wash my hair in the shower and loose strands of hair come out, I put them on the shower wall so I can clean them up later - but at least 50% of the time I forget they're there until the next time I get in. Pretty gross. Luckily I have my own bathroom so Eric doesn't have to see it.
2) Picking up lunch at the drive through. It's a waste of money and the food usually isn't healthy, but it seems so much easier when I'm running errands all morning and Sawyer is suddenly starving. He recognizes the Chick-Fil-A sign from a mile away ("Chicken? Fries?") Pretty bad.
3) I do loads of laundry and then leave the clean clothes sitting in the basket forever. See above about folding laundry always being on my to-do list.
4) Using Dora the Explorer as a babysitter while I make soap. He would watch it all day every day if I let him.
5) Forgetting to call people back. When I get a voice mail from someone if I don't call them back RIGHT THEN, chances are that I won't ever remember to. This is why email works so much better for me, there's a constant visual reminder of the message even after I've read it.

Five places I have lived....
1) Northern Virginia (ages 3 to 5, 11 to 22, and 25 to now. So most of my life.)
2) Utah
3) France
4) North Carolina
5) Ohio

Five jobs I've had....
1) Stable hand. I fed, watered and cleaned the stalls of about a dozen horses after school. I made $30 a week for an hour a day, 4 days a week - pretty good for a high school student back then. I loved the physical labor and being around the horses.
2) Music store employee. This was such a fun job, I got to talk to people about music all day. The people I worked with were so much fun, and very different after being at BYU, which was a welcome change. I was the only one there without facial piercings.
3) Summer intern at a DC law firm. I assisted lawyers with clerical stuff like typing, filing, and research. I hated almost every minute of it - the only part I liked was taking the train downtown and using the free gym. I was 100% sure after this summer that I didn't want to be a lawyer - not that I needed much convincing.
4) Secretary/receptionist for the Political Science Department at BYU. I loved this job. The professors and students were so fun to work with and I learned a lot about the field.
5) Teaching assistant. My dad taught religion classes for freshman honors students and I was his TA. I kept attendance, graded papers, and helped students write papers. Plus I got to hear all my dad's lectures and learn from him. Pretty posh job.

I know that's already five - but I just have to add that the best job I've had so far is being a stay at home mom. I didn't expect to love it nearly as much as I do. I love having the freedom to plan my days however I want to, and I can honestly say I've never been bored.

If you feel so inclined to do this - consider yourself tagged!

Sleep, AI and LOST

Feels like a random post day.

I'm struggling with going to bed at night. I've had this problem my entire life. It's not that I can't fall asleep, it's that I don't want to stop doing what I'm doing and go to bed. You know how little kids never want to go to bed even if they're really tired because they think they're going to miss something? That's me, I guess I never outgrew that. I was up until 3 last night cleaning, working on my Etsy shop, watching TV and reading. Not good.

In better news, my Cadbury Mini Eggs are finally all gone. No more temptation! Until Christmas, anyway. A very good thing for my waistline.

How awesome was David Cook's rendition of "Billie Jean" on American Idol last night? I wish he had gone first, because it would showcase how truly awful Kristy, Carly, and Ramiele were. Kristy's song choice was smart, because people will vote for the pretty blond patriotic girl, but I'm always completely bored and underwhelmed by her vocals, and to be honest that song makes me throw up a little bit. Carly is a great singer but I wish she would stop YELLING everything - not every song has to be powered through. I've been annoyed with her ever since she butchered "Blackbird". Last night she sounded like a mix between Cher and Celine Dion. And Ramiele - just ugh. I hope she goes bye-bye. Brooke White remains one of my favorites for the simple reason that she doesn't belt out every single song - she has some complexity to her voice, and it's not overly trained and forced. Could anyone else tell she was trying really hard not to mouth off to the judges like she usually does? I thought that was funny. And Simon's comment about David Archuleta not picking his own song was interesting given all the rumors about his dad being a pushy stage parent.

Speaking of TV...how am I going to survive the next few weeks without LOST? I might have to rewatch the first 8 episodes of season four. Thoughts about last week's episode - did they really kill off Rousseau?! I saw the bullet go in, but somehow I'm not sure this is the end for her. We've certainly seen characters survive being shot before. There's a lot more to her story (we haven't seen that flashback episode the writers promised not so long ago) and I think she's one of the most interesting characters on the Island, so I hope she's alive. Maybe she'll pull a Locke on us in the next episode. Karl is definitely dead though. Poor Karl. At least he got a cool Star Wars allusion in before he kicked it ("I have a bad feeling about this...")

About Michael; I like the idea that he is trying to redeem himself for betraying his friends. He has always struck me as one of the weakest of the characters when it comes to morals, so it will be interesting to see if he's able to find redemption in his final days. I think he's the one in the coffin (anyone else?)

Why can't Michael kill himself? What does it mean when big gay Tom says "the Island won't let you"? (By the way, I think it's hilarious that Tom used to be the scariest of the Others, and now we find out that he's this jolly gay foodie. Talk about character development.) Here's my out-there theory: it all goes back to destiny. Remember the episode "Flashes Before Your Eyes" where Desmond first time travels? He goes back to his pre-Island life and tries to change things so that he ends up married to Penny instead of on the Island. He finds out that he can't. He meets the mysterious Ms. Hawking, who explains that no matter what he does, he will always end up on the Island because it is his destiny to push the button.

So it must be Michael's destiny to go back to the Island on the freighter and work for Ben, since he's been unsuccessful at three separate suicide attempts. The big question is, how does Tom know that it's his destiny? Here's where it gets even weirder - maybe it's because Tom and Ben can see the future. It's not too much of a stretch - we've already seen this happen with Desmond when he has a vision of Charlie dying. Ben always seems to be three steps ahead of everyone else all the time. I think Ben is able to use the Island's powers to see the future, and I think it has to do with his ability to talk to Jacob. This is why he's so passionate about protecting the Island from being discovered by Widmore or anyone else. Ben knows that it's Michael's destiny to be on the freighter because he's seen it, just like Desmond knew it was Charlie's destiny to die no matter how many times he tried to save his life. It's not that the Island controls destiny, it's that it allows certain people to see what an individual's destiny will be.

Of course I could be completely wrong. But it kind of makes sense, right?

Frequent Shopper

A sign that I may be spending too much time at Target: as we were leaving the check-out line this morning, Sawyer turned to the cashier and said,"Bye! See you tomorrow!"

Things I Hate

In honor of the post over at FMH, I now present my very own List of Things I Hate.

-Having to get in my car and *drive* to the grocery store that I can see from my house, because there aren't any sidewalks along the roads.
-The exorbitant cost of housing where we live
-Yo Gabba Gabba
-Adults wearing Disney character clothing/memorabilia
-Infertility
-Names that are spelled strangely to make them "unique". Like Mikol instead of Michael, or Allyson instead of Allison. People, it's the SAME name! All you're doing is making it hard for people to spell your kid's name, and ensuring that they will forever have to explain to people how to spell and/or pronounce it. If you want your child's name to be unique, give them a name that actually *is* unique.
-Stepping in wetness when I'm wearing socks. The mere thought makes me shudder.
-That one person who doesn't merge when the sign says to merge, but drives up as far as they can go, then cuts someone off to get back in. You know who I'm talking about, there's always one.
-People who think their job is way more important than it actually is. The Michael Scotts of the world. There are lots of these in the DC area.
-The WGA strike.
-Menstrual cramps. Actually, menstrual anything.
-Babywise and the people who follow it like it's a religion
-Talking about immigration laws with my husband. Because we both get so, so angry.
-Misinformation about breastfeeding - it is so pervasive in our culture, and we wonder why so many women have trouble? (see above about Babywise)
-The fact that I can't speak French anymore. By the time I left my mission, people couldn't tell I was American because I spoke so well (they could tell I wasn't French - I wasn't that good - but they couldn't pinpoint where I was from - most people guessed Spain.) Last time we were there, a cab driver laughed at me because my accent was so bad. Very sad.
-Hot dogs

What do you hate?