Engrish Funny

From the creators of Fail Blog comes.... Engrish Funny! I have been looking at these and cracking up for the past few days. (Just a warning that some of them require a crass sense of humor and tolerance for unintentional profanity.) Here are a few of the less offensive ones.

(Actually a pretty good name for the whole Disney Princess phenomenon.)

I'm like the pioneer children, without the singing...

...because they too walked and walked and walked...and walked. I just noticed that I'm in the top 10 for walkers on Facebook's Fitify application. Number 5. Yeah, baby! I've walked 73 miles in the past 30 days. I'm planning to step things up in the next couple of weeks, so watch out Number 4!

My goal is to walk 5 miles a day, 5 days a week (Monday-Friday), but so far life has gotten in the way of that happening. I have yet to do 5 consecutive days because something always comes up. I am determined to make it happen next week! This one's already screwed because I couldn't go this morning due to some intestinal issues I'm not willing to blog about. Feel free to thank me for that.

Additional goals: Eric and I are joining a gym together. I doubt we'll ever go at the same time, but it is nice that we're both becoming more fitness conscious at the same time. I also want to get in the habit of doing yoga every night before I go to bed. This is hard since by the end of the day I'm so tired and all my favorite TV shows are just getting started up again (Heroes tonight! The Office on Thursday!) Thank goodness for the DVR. I just need to have the discipline to schedule that time and stick with it. The healthiest I've ever felt was when I was practicing consistently and I want to get back to that level again.

I am really enjoying the walking. It's my favorite part of the day, being outside and having quiet time - although now that I think about it it's not entirely quiet since I'm listening to podcasts and trying to placate Sawyer, who starts whining "Playground, playground" around mile 3. Still. I enjoy it. It's something I know I can stick with, unlike running, which every time I've tried it is just painful, painful, and more painful. I had asthma as a child and I still associate running with the yearly torture of "running the mile" in PE class, which always involved a horrible attack and subsequent vomiting. (Looking back, I don't know why I never got a doctor's note to skip it.) In college I was in a car accident that left me with a back injury and I still have pain from that, which makes running even less fun. Walking is low impact enough to feel great and still get a good workout.

Any other walkers out there? Runners (masochists)? What else do you do to keep in shape?

Dentist Trauma

On Monday Sawyer had his first ever dental procedure - getting cavities filled. Nothing makes you feel like a horrible mother faster than learning that your child has a mouth full of cavities (I don't know what the final count was, but before they started drilling it was at least seven.) The dentist says it's from drinking juice from a sippy cup - although virtually every toddler I know drinks juice or milk from a sippy cup and none of them have a million cavities. We brush his teeth twice a day and he rarely has sweets. I'm blaming Eric's genes, since I've never had a cavity myself.

Since he's so young and needed so many fillings we decided to have him go under IV sedation during the procedure. We had to get to the office early in the morning, which was good because that meant Eric could be there for moral support for me. Also since Sawyer couldn't eat anything after midnight the night before, it was good that we didn't have to keep him hungry for too long. They had me hold him in my lap while he was given an injection which we were told would make him fall asleep, and then they'd start an IV (which I later found out was in his ankle - yikes!) After they gave him the shot I expected him to fall asleep in my arms, and I was totally unprepared for his reaction - he got all stiff, with his hands balled into fists, his pupils dilated and he started shaking. The anesthesiologist was quick to assure us that it was normal and that in some people their body fights the medication at first. When I laid him down in the dentist's chair he was so stiff that he almost rolled right off onto the floor. The most disturbing part was that his eyes were wide open but it was clear that he didn't see us there. I just about lost it. I'm so glad Eric was there with me in the waiting room.

After about an hour and a half the drilling, filling and sealing was done and they called me back (Eric had to step out for a conference call) so I could hold him while he woke up. He was very groggy for a while and had a dry, sore mouth but otherwise seemed to feel fine. His first words were about Kai-lan. A couple of hours after we got home he was dancing around and asking for chicken and fries (he got yogurt instead). All in all it was much more traumatic for me than it was for him. Still, I hope this is the last major dental procedure he'll need for a long time.

Go Mama!

The other day I was vacuuming the stairs (something I end up doing a lot because we have a three level townhouse) and looked up to see Sawyer at the top, clapping his hands and cheering "Go Mama! You can do it! Great job!" He kept the verbal encouragement going the whole time I was cleaning. And you know what? I did do a good job. Thanks for noticing, Sawyer.

Colbert

The other night before bed, Sawyer started asking for "Colbert". Since we're big fans of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, I assumed he was in the mood for some jaunty political humor. But even after a few Bush jokes, he kept saying "Colbert, Colbert, Colbert!" As it turns out, this is what he was referring to:


It all makes sense: Colbert = polar bear! He's been playing with it non-stop for the past several days and asks for it at bed and nap time. He goes through phases with his stuffed animals where he'll be attached to one for a while and then move on, but this is the first time he's ever named one - albeit unintentionally. Welcome to the family, Colbert!