Guilty

Do you other moms ever have moments of intense mommy guilt? I just had one yesterday. I was doing some weeding in the front yard. Sawyer was with me and disappeared when I had my back turned. I called for him, he didn't answer. I went inside and looked all over the house, he didn't answer. I was starting to freak out when I found him in the backyard using one of my pitchers to dip water out of the pond. My fear combined with the fact that he had (unintentionally) uprooted several newly planted water plants made me furious - oh, and the fact that he knows he's not supposed to play in the pond without an adult watching. I smacked him on the hand as I took the pitcher away and yelled at him, telling him how mad I was. We don't spank, so he's not used to this kind of reaction, but he didn't seem too upset about the whole thing, which actually just made me even madder. I brought him inside, put the pitcher away and tried to calm down. Once I was feeling more level-headed I apologized for getting so mad.

So later in the day I overheard him playing by himself with a couple of matchbox cars and making them "talk" to each other using a high-pitched, sing-songy voice. Here was the conversation:
"I so mad! So so mad! I'm going to HURT you!"
"Ouch! That hurt!"
"Oh, I sorry."
"That's OK."


GUILT.