Congratulations, Eric!

My husband is a CCIE! After almost a year and a half of intense study (and very little time at home) he passed the lab portion of the CCIE exam yesterday. We got the results at 2:30 this morning and couldn't stop jumping up and down. I am so proud of him.

Here's a great article about the CCIE and how people react when they pass it and come out alive:
CCIE: Talk about a stress test
I think we're due for a BIG vacation soon!

Biggest Loser Update

I haven't updated on my weight loss in a while, but it's still going on! The contest officially ends a week from this Friday (although I plan to continue to lose more after it's over). I'm not likely to win at this point - I usually come in around 5th or 6th, right in the middle - but I'm fine with that. I've lost 11 pounds so far and I'm down a size. The best part though is how I feel - I have so much more energy than before and just about every part of me is tighter. I should be able to reach my goal by the end of the summer, and I should be in fairly good shape by the time we go to the beach at the end of July.

Kids and Their Cell Phones

Sorry Mom, I need to take this.

Go.

What?!

Excuse me Mom, could I have some privacy?

Why I haven't been blogging much.

Now that Sawyer is two (as of May 5th), we've entered the magical age of picky eating, temper tantrums, and a quickly expanding vocabulary. He's definitely not a baby anymore. It really is a lot of fun to be able to interact with him in all these new ways, but sometimes he demands so much of my attention that I feel like I can't get anything else done.

One of the big projects I've been squeezing in to my spare moments is getting my soap business up and going. As of a couple of weeks ago, I'm officially open for business on eBay. (Check it out here.) Sales are really starting to pick up, to the point where I am running around all day trying to get things labeled, packaged, and mailed. Once I get a good system down it will be much easier but I'm trying to figure so many things out at once that I'm a little like a headless chicken at the moment. And then I turn around from working on the computer to find a whole new project waiting for me:

So now I'm not just a stay at home mom - I'm a work from home mom too. It has its own challenges, but I'm enjoying it so far.

Five Years

Five years ago yesterday Eric and I got married. I can't believe it's been that long already - and at the same time, I can't believe it's only been that long since I can barely remember what life was like before we were married.

The traditional gift for the five year anniversary is wood; we modified it slightly to steak and went out to dinner at Morton's. When we first got married we decided not to buy gifts for anniversaries, but to use the money to go somewhere special. Pre-Sawyer that meant a weekend trip, now it means an elaborate dinner and a babysitter (thanks Spencer and Samm!) It was a fun night. Happy anniversary to us!

"The Man Behind the Curtain"

With just a few weeks left in this season of Lost, I thought it would be fun to brainstorm some ideas I've had about the show. I have loved the past couple of months with a new episode every single week. I feel like it's given it the momentum it needs to really build suspense and keep us guessing about the story. And it's always a plus to be able to remember what happened in the previous episode when you're watching a new one.

(Spoiler alert! If you haven’t watched last night’s episode yet this will give stuff away!)

Last night's episode, "The Man Behind the Curtain" had some interesting Biblical references. We learned that Ben's mother died giving birth to him; in the Bible, Benjamin was the youngest son of Rachel, and she died when he was born. Benjamin's father was Jacob, so it's interesting that Jacob is the name of the invisible man who Ben insists is in charge on the island. Ben definitely needs a father figure, considering what a douche his own dad was - and the fact that he killed him.

I’m pretty sure that Jacob is a ghost. We know Ben can see dead people as he saw his mother as a boy, and we know that some people get this ability on the island and it’s considered a special gift. Maybe that’s why Ben was so upset that Locke was able to hear Jacob – it shows that Locke has some of that ability too and it is threatening to Ben’s position as leader. Ben was also threatened by Locke’s healing after the plane crash, and the fact that Ben isn’t healing so well after his surgery. He sees Locke as someone who could possibly depose him, and he knows there are many who would be glad to see that happen (Juliet especially.)

One thing is for sure – ghost or not, Jacob is real. Ben’s reaction to Locke having heard him is good enough evidence for that, but if you need more proof, here it is – several people at lost-forum.com have posted screencaps of the scene in Jacob’s house, and in one of the stills you can actually see him. (I thought I saw him out of the corner of my eye, but I was so freaked out by the scene that I wasn't sure if I had imagined it!)

So who is Jacob? Alvar Hanso? Desmond from another dimension? Locke's evil twin? Maybe it’s someone else from the Dharma Initiative who was killed in the purge. Horace Goodspeed? Or maybe it’s one of the “natives” who has been in charge for a long time. And about those natives; how did they get to the island? Are they immortal? From the time Ben firsts meets Richard to the present day, he doesn’t seem to have aged at all. Did they come on the Black Rock? Are they the Pirates of the Caribbean?

I thought this episode was excellent, and incredibly creepy. I watched it by myself after everyone went to bed and I was so scared afterwards I had to watch “Thank God You’re Here” before I went to bed just to calm myself down. I can’t remember the last time a television show had that kind of effect on me. That’s good TV.

A Bit of Musical Self-Indulgence

Here's that fun music survey where you put your mp3 player on shuffle and the songs are the answers to the questions.

I think the most revealing part of this survey is you get to see what kind of music everyone is listening to...and you just KNOW that your iPod is going to land on those NSync songs you just haven't ever brought yourself to delete!


So here goes...

How am I feeling today? Beth Orton "Worms"
“Worms don’t dance, they haven’t got the balls.” Couldn’t agree more.

Will I get far in life? Ryan Adams & The Cardinals "Sweet Illusions"
I’m noticing that yes/no questions don’t work well for this sort of survey…unless you happen to come across a song called “Yes” or “No”.

How do my friends see me? Hanson "Strong Enough to Break"
See, I told you it would be embarrassing!

When will I get married? Heather Nova "London Rain (Nothing Heals Me Like You Do)"
I guess this works since there’s no song I know of called “I already did 5 years ago.”

What's my theme song? Joshua Radin "Star Mile"
I don’t know if it fits, but holy frijoles, what a great song. “Life comes to those that’ll choose the regular news over playing the blues with the light on.” I am a Joshua Radin fiend as of late.

What is the story of my life? Paul Weller "Above the Clouds"
My husband would definitely agree.

How can I get ahead in life? They Might Be Giants "Space Suit"
Is it too late to go to Space Camp?

What is my best feature? Colin Hay "My Brilliant Feat"
Why yes, I am brilliant!

How is today going to be? Sublime "What I Got"
I don’t get angry when my mom smokes pot.

What is in store for this weekend? Tori Amos "Baker Baker"
I hope this means there are pastries involved!

What is my life like at the moment? Noah Paley "Moonlight Still"

What song describes my secrets? 10,000 Maniacs "Circle Dream"
I’m secretly kind of a pagan.

What is my current lover like? The Smiths "Bigmouth Strikes Again"
HAHAHA! (Eric, I swear I didn't do this on purpose!! Blame iTunes!)

What song will they play at my funeral? Rufus Wainwright "When, In Disgrace With Fortune and Men’s Eyes"
Actually that would be really cool.

How does the world see me? Duke Ellington "Night Creature"
Well, I do like to stay up late…to make soap.

Will I have a happy life? The Verve "Bitter Sweet Symphony"
Sounds about right.

What do my friends really think of me? Frank Sinatra "The Lady is a Tramp"
Oh man.

Do people secretly lust after me? Lit "Miserable"
“You make me complete…ly miserable”

Will I accomplish my goals in life? Caedmon’s Call "Bus Driver"
I need to set some new goals.

Will I find true love? Ryan Adams "Oh My Sweet Carolina"
Ryan again…makes sense since Ryan Adams songs make up at least ¼ of my entire library. Another one of my all-time favorite songs.

How do I treat others? Matthew Sweet "We're The Same"

Weigh-In Number Two

Today was weigh-in number two in the Biggest Loser challenge. I'm down another two pounds. I was hoping for more, but I guess it's not too bad considering that this week included Easter, and my lady's time is fast approaching. I'm going to step my exercise up a notch and see if I can catch up next week.

I am loving the diet I'm on. I'm following the plan from Dr. Oz's book You On A Diet. There's so much about it that's perfect for me. There's no counting calories, and no real deprivation. I eat whole wheat breads and cereals, lots of fruits and veggies, and fish or lean meats. All foods I love! I've also adopted a strategy from Body for Life where you are allowed to take one day a week off of the diet. Knowing that in a week or less I can eat whatever I want makes it so much easier to eat right the rest of the week, as opposed to feeling like I will NEVER have a hamburger again.

Something else that's made it easier to stick to is that I am working my butt off to get my handmade soap business up and running. I'm aiming for an opening date of June 1st, so I am making one or two batches of soap a day so that it will have time to cure and be ready to sell before then. I'm tweaking my recipes and trying new techniques that are really fun. With so much going on that I find interesting and stimulating, boredom eating isn't a problem anymore. Watch out skinny jeans, here I come!

Look More Closelier

My first Big Loser weigh-in was yesterday. I stepped on the scale with complete and utter trepidation, because I worked really hard all week and if I had nothing to show for it I would have been so discouraged. Luckily, I did have results! Down 4 lbs. Yay! I am even more motivated now to keep going.

On a different topic, I saw the funniest South Park the other day about the "true" origins of the Easter Bunny. If you've read/seen The DaVinci Code you'll love it. Here's a clip - so funny!

Why there's an Easter Bunny

Happy Easter!

I Want to be a Big Loser!

One of the ladies from my online fertility/moms group had a great idea. Since so many of us are trying to lose weight, she set up a Biggest Loser competition. We all put in $20 and at the end of the competition whoever has lost the highest percentage of weight gets the pot. It starts today. I am really excited to finally get the rest of this baby weight off of me (can I really still call it "baby weight" when my baby is almost two?) and be ready for bathing suit season. I'm following the You On a Diet plan - whole grains, nuts, fruits and veggies, and lean meats - and walking, rowing and doing yoga. I'll post my results when it's over at the end of the 12 weeks. NO before pictures though - no good can come from sending those out into the world!

About Time

Well, it's about time for an update. (Has it really been since Christmas since I posted? Sheesh...) The big news is that after 2 and a half years in Alexandria, we have moved. We're farther from DC, but much closer to Eric's work; we've cut his commute down by about 45 minutes. We also have a bigger place with more room for Sawyer's toys (and my toys too.) I really like our new neighborhood. The houses are all less than 2 years old and there are lots of young couples like us with little kids.

Sawyer is almost 23 months old now. I can't believe he's nearly two. Where has the time gone? He had a haircut recently and he looks so grown up to me. Here are some pictures.

Running errands with cousin Caroline.

The boy loves bananas!

All ready for church.
Funny story...15 minutes after I took this picture,
he puked all over the back of the car. No church that day!

When's the last time you were THIS excited about Christmas?

As a fairly new parent, I'm discovering that having kids makes Christmas a lot of fun. Sawyer isn't old enough to really get it yet, but he definitely senses the excitement of the season. Every morning when we go downstairs he runs over to the Christmas tree and says "Tee! Tee!" and makes the sign for "tree". We're teaching him that Santa Claus says "Ho, ho, ho" and he'll repeat it in a deep voice with a serious look on his face. My parents and sisters are coming to visit from Utah on the 20th and my brother's coming up from Miami, so our whole family will be together for Christmas this year. I can't wait to see them all and to see Sawyer and Caroline on Christmas morning. I remember the first year that Christmas wasn't that exciting to me; that morning I realized that I would rather sleep in than go downstairs and open presents. Since then the season has become more spiritually significant to me and I enjoy the peace and togetherness that comes with it. But seeing it through Sawyer's eyes brings back some of that excitement it used to hold for me.

Thanksgiving

I'm behind in my blogging what with Christmas preparations and whatnot, but in November we did celebrate Thanksgiving. We went to Corolla, NC to spend the holiday weekend with Eric's family at their beach house. The day before we went there was a huge storm and all the roads were flooded. On the way there we thought we were going to have to get out of the car and kayak to the house. The picture is of their driveway and the road. When we arrived I joked with my mother-in-law that their house was probably more valuable now that it was waterfront property; that went over like a ton of bricks. I guess I wouldn't have a sense of humor about it either if it was my place that was close to being flooded. At any rate, we had a nice weekend just hanging out and eating lots of good food.

Halloween

I know a lot of you have already seen these, but I thought I'd post them anyway; pictures of our Halloween. I was a cat, Sawyer was a puppy, and Eric was a guy with a mullet. I have to admit that I've never been a huge fan of Halloween, but now that we have a kid it is so much more fun. Sawyer had a blast at our church's "trunk-or-treat" party - he ran all over the place, going up to people in costumes, touching them, screaming and then running away. A couple of times he ran right into the middle of the cakewalk and we had to dash after him to extract him. Crazy kid.

We Fockerized Him

I just re-watched "Meet the Fockers" the other day and realized two things. First, the baby on it reminds me SO much of Sawyer. He's about that age now, he has the same coloring, and he signs. (Thankfully though, Sawyer's first word was not "Ash-hooole.") Second, I hadn't noticed before that the characters in the movie have a conversation about the topic of my last post - attachment parenting vs. independence training. The Byrnes are using the Ferber method (cry it out) for baby Jack and the Fockers believe in attachment - as they put it, "We hugged and kissed our little prince like there was no tomorrow. We Fockerized him."

Independence, Shmindependence

I've been thinking about this post for a long time. And it's kind of a controversial topic, so if you are offended by it I'm sorry - but hey, it's my blog.

One of the funny things about becoming a parent is that everyone and their mom will share their parenting philosophy with you, whether or not you asked for it. I had a pretty good idea of what kind of mom I wanted to be, but no idea how different my own parenting style would be from the majority of people I know. I think the central difference hinges on the concept of independence. When it comes to babies, our culture is obsessed with encouraging independence. We wean them early, put them in cribs in their own rooms as soon as possible, and shudder at the thought of letting them use a pacifier past the age of 2. After having lots of conversations with other moms and reading many (Eric would say too many) parenting books, I've found that I believe in what the baby book writers call "attachment parenting". The basic concept is that babies should be allowed to be babies; that they come wired with the ability to tell us what they need, both physically and emotionally; and that the most important thing they learn in the first years of life is that they can trust (i.e. be attached to) their caregivers. To me this is just common sense, but it is amazing how many people believe exactly the opposite. I had a friend who was concerned that her 6 week old baby was "still" waking up at night to eat. Another of our acquaintances told her, "Wow, it sounds like she's learned how to manipulate you!" I was dumbfounded. A baby who's been out of the womb for a month and a half? Manipulative? Was she serious? Yep, she was. It turns out that she is a big believer in the idea of scheduling feedings and naptimes from an early age and showing your baby who's boss - that the family doesn't revolve around him. Babies who are "trained" in this way (that's actually what they call it) usually sleep through the night at a much earlier age than those whose parents respond to them at night.

I can see why this strategy might be attractive to some. Waking up at night to feed a baby is tough, especially in those early weeks when you are already exhausted. The solution according to my friend (and the book she bases her ideas on) is to let the baby "cry it out" in order to learn that night is for sleeping. This becomes a very emotional issue for me, because the thought of leaving my baby to cry by himself makes me physically ill. And a lot of women I know who have used this method of sleep training say they felt the same way initially, but that they eventually got over that feeling and learned to ignore the crying. They say that it's OK that the baby is left crying for long periods of time because they know "he's fine" - meaning they know he has eaten, has a dry diaper, and is safe. My problem with this is, the baby clearly doesn't know he's "fine". And is it really a good thing to distance yourself from your child to the point where their crying doesn't really bother you anymore? I don't think so.

Eric and I have taken a totally different approach, and at first glance, a harder one. From day one Sawyer has slept in our room and often in our bed. I've breastfed him whenever he asked to at night, and never let him cry for longer than it took me to wake up. The bad news? He woke up A LOT and he didn't start sleeping through the night until he was almost a year old. But the good news - it didn't bother us one bit. Co-sleeping makes handling night wakings so painless, especially while breastfeeding. By the time he was a couple of months old and I was getting the hang of nursing while lying down, I wouldn't even wake up all the way to feed him, I'd just roll over and whip it out and we'd both fall back asleep. Sleeping next to our baby has been one of the most wonderful parenting experiences we've shared. The same went for the daytime: if he cried, I picked him up; if he wanted to eat, I fed him. Until he learned to sit up on his own he spent most of every day in my arms or in a sling. (By the way, babywearing is the single greatest thing I discovered in the early months of being a new mom. It totally saved my arms, back and sanity.) As a sidenote, around the age of 7 months we discovered that Sawyer had an allergy to the cow's milk I was drinking - the protein passes into breastmilk and it was giving him stomach pains. If I had let him "cry it out," I would have been leaving him in pain. He had no way to tell me this other than crying. I am so glad I didn't ignore his cries. Once I cut milk out of my diet he slept peacefully all night.

Eric and I don't go around broadcasting the fact that we co-sleep. I think it goes back to the whole independence thing. In our culture we think that if we don't push babies into being independent, they will never learn to do things on their own. To me that's really silly. If you've ever been around a 2 year old you know that they don't need much encouragement to be independent; it is hardwired into their brains. ("I can do it MYSELF!") It's just that the stage where they develop this on their own is later than a lot of Americans are comfortable with.

Take breastfeeding. Toddlers will naturally lose interest in nursing and wean themselves, but not usually until sometime between the ages of 3 and 5. Women in our society who breastfeed their babies that long are basically seen as freaks of nature. One year seems to be the maximum age that is considered acceptable when it comes to nursing. (I'm pretty sure this is only the case in the US - I remember when I lived in France seeing many women nursing older toddlers, and in public at that. Of course, they go to the beach topless too, so I guess you could argue that they are a bit freer with their bodies that we are. Maybe it's all in our Puritanical roots and seeing breasts primarily as sexual objects.) At 17 months, I'm still breastfeeding Sawyer a few times a day, and I don't plan to stop for a while. I enjoy it, he enjoys it, it's healthy for him physically and emotionally, so I don't see why, just because he's past the arbitrary 1 year milestone, he shouldn't be allowed to breastfeed anymore. Even my doctor seems to think I am really weird to keep nursing him. So obviously I don't go around telling everyone I meet that I'm still breastfeeding. Once in a while I'll meet someone who breastfeeds her babies past one year and I always feel like embracing her and never letting go!

The irony of our culture's obsession with teaching babies independence is that so many young adults seem to have problems with being on their own. They even have a name: "Boomerang Kids", those who live with their parents after college and into their mid to late twenties. They say that needs that aren't met early on will need to be met later, so it makes me wonder if part of the problem is that kids are not allowed to be dependent on their parents at a young age, and so they stretch out their dependence into adulthood in order to feel safe and secure.

I also wonder how the concept of independence applies to our spiritual wellbeing. Being a Christian hinges on the idea that you need to rely on someone else. Our drive to do it all on our own can be very damaging when it comes to a relationship with God and with others in our families and our community of faith. Healthy interdependence is something that is difficult to achieve when we are so bombarded with the ideals of a do-it-yourself mentality.

This may just be a lot of fancy footwork to convince myself that it's OK to hug and nurse and cuddle my little boy. And if that's the case, oh well. We all get screwed over by our parents in some way. I guess I'll be OK with that if my mistake is loving my baby too much.

Celebrity Look-alikes

This is one of those things that is going around on myspace right now - you upload a picture of your face and it tells you what celebrities you look like. It's pretty fun, although sometimes it is way off - I had a couple say I looked like Evangeline Lilly and I pretty much look like the opposite of Evangeline Lilly. The funniest though was the one that said I look like Frankie Muniz! (Is that why Eric likes "Malcolm in the Middle"? ... Creepy.) You have to do several different pictures to get an accurate result. The one celebrity that came up for every one of the pictures I tried was Jenna Elfman. Anyway, here are my results.

Oh My Gosh....I Think I'm Crafty!

Since becoming a stay at home mom I have undergone a radical personality transformation. I realized it the other day when I was browsing the aisles at Michaels: I am crafty. I have never thought of myself as crafty before, in fact I was anti-crafty for many years. I've always been creative though, and I think that maybe running a household 24/7 plus creativity naturally leads to craftiness. Not that I'm into all crafts - I don't think I will ever like sewing or needlepoint. Mostly I like paper crafts; scrapbooking, card making, etc. And I love soap and candle making. I didn't really think of those individual pass times as "crafts", but when I consider them all together there is no denying it: I am crafty, and I need to accept that.

No Accounting for Taste

I took these a few weeks ago when Sawyer fished a lime wedge out of his dad's drink. (He also dumped out the ice cubes, as you can tell from the puddle on the coffee table.) We eagerly awaited a funny face when he tasted how sour it was, but he loved it! Now that I think about it I remember my mom telling me I used to like sucking on lemons and pickles when I was a toddler, so maybe he gets it from me.

Hot Fun in the Summertime

It has been a hot summer, so we've spent a lot of time huddled inside with the air conditioning on full blast. A few times though we've broken out the baby pool to let Sawyer splash around. He absolutely loves the water as you can tell by the pictures. He will play in it until his lips are turning blue and his fingers are shriveled like prunes and he'll still protest when it's time to take him out.